Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 39, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 August 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE]

Humor and Philosophy

By DVNCAN M. SMITH

IN PROSPECT. mHE useful air We breathe Is free, A priceless boon To you and me. Let's breathe a lot. Pull deep and fast; We cannot tell How long- 'twill last Though now it stretcher Far and wide. It may ere long Be trustified, And we may be Compelled to pay For what we use From day 10 day. A snap like that Can’t last, I fear. f. The end, Indeed, May soon be near. We may receive, I grieve to say, A bill for what We stow away. The trust has missed It’s finest bet. But it will put A meter yet On what we breathe And come down hard And make us buy it By the yard. No Training Needed. Farming and writing poetry are two things that every one thinks he can do. Indeed, if there is anything easier than falling off a log it is writing poetry, and If there is anything easier than poetizing it is making a farm pay where men who have been at it all their lives have failed. Of the two delusions the poetical one Is the least harmful. The editor can send back the rhymes, and nothing Is lost but a two cent stamp and a subscriber. In farming, the experimenter will sometimes exchange the savings of a lifetime for a couple of years’ experience that he can do nothing with after he has acquired it. The Good Old Way. “Great improvements in all lines of farming now," said the dairyman who was showing a customer about the place. "I suppose so.” “Yes; we even do our milking by machinery." “You have to still water it by hand, though, don’t you?” m Superior. k “Mamie says she Is above marriage.” r “Is that so? I always thought Mamie had quite a feeling fo£ the lads.” “Nevertheless she maintains she is." "Wonder why.” “She Is in an office over the county judge’s office.” The sweetheart of your youth is sure to turn up for the first time in ten years when you have a smudge on your nose and a week’s dissipation to your discredit. A girl hardly ever gets so mad that she will refuse a five pound box of candy. In „P«fspect. S^mmer'i.h Is alluring When It's far away; In the hazy Distance Looks so bright And gay. But When it Is closer And we feel the sting Then we think It rather Overdoes the thing. When The frosts Of winter Nip our classic nos* And we sit , And wonder Why So hard it snows. And the weather Chilly Seems to be A crime. Then We sort of hanker For The summer time. But when it Is doing Business At our door And Is very • Friendly Then we rals* A roar. Summer Is delightful When It Isn’t here. That Applies to any Season In the year. Poor Guesser. “He is going to marry the Widow Jone 3.” “But she is older than he.” % “Yes.” "And no beauty.” “Not exactly,” “Is she rich?” “Why do you ask superfluous questions?” Explaining It. “I see, as the blind man said,” remarked father when he was trying to be emphatic and facetiofls at the same time. “He couldn’t, though, could he?’’ inquired Willie. “No, son. That was just the blind man's bluff.”