Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 July 1909 — PERT PARAGRAPHS. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

is born to be the prey of those who know how to play upon his vanity, just as stock is created to be watered. No nervous dyspeptic ever was convinced that that is why the world is against him.

Most of us think we know a lot of people that Satan isn't sorrowing over. When you think you are entitled to consideration and attention just endeavor to claim it and see where you get off. The more graft there is the more respectability it appears to attain.

The man who understands women is the man who has a jolt coming to him and will be at home to receive it. There isn’t much doubt that old Mother Nature and Satan himself conspired when poison ivy was brought into existence. A person who has to run up against a freight train before he can get an idea into his head is what you might call stupid. A bank account is rarely one of the assets of a man who works nothing but his imagination. Summer wasn’t lost in those exceptionally rare June days; simply let go to get a better hold. Business. “What would you consider evidence of a clever modern woman?” “A clever modern woman?” “The same.” “Well. I should think if she were wealthy she would keep her divorce lawyer on a salary.” Righteous Indignation. “I have discovered a lot of graft in the city hall. Got a dead open and shut case, with all the proof.” “What are you going to do—report it to the grand jury?” “Yes, if they refuse to let me in on it.” Desirable Condition. “i hear you are going in for physical culture.” “I certainly am.” “Why such rashness?” “I have heard that it is possible to get too strong to work.”