Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 July 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

It Often Happens. “What’s the difference between manners and morals?” “I fancy there Is a vast difference between them.” “I don’t see it.” “Well,, I’ve noticed that the better the former are the worse the latter may be.”

He Is Still Guesting.

“He kissed her.” “And she didn’t protest?" “Of course not.” “She must be new at the game.** In Demand. One never does get old enough. And don’t you, son, forget It— That he’ll not listen for a puff Or go a block to get it.

Fortunate. “It is a good thing too.” “What?” “That one half of the World doesn’t know how the other half lives.” “JUst Why, please?” “Because in that case so much time Would be consumed in gossip over the matter that industry would be badly interfered with.”

His Hobby. "Ever shave with a safety razor?” "No.” “Then you won’t like my uncle.” “Why not?” “Won’t have anything 0 in common to talk about.”

PERT PARAGRAPHS. Being unable to earn ‘a living, an ineffectual person will annex one. This Is a country in which one man is just as good as another, and sometimes he Is as good as two others. Shopkeepers who have a running account with people who live beyond their means get a run for their money even If they don’t get It. Being able to buy everything you want, you are so liable not to want what you buy. When a man gets his head swelled a brickbat poultice has been known to be help some. There Is no use in crying, and occasionally laughing gets you Into difficulty. Overdoing of some essentials Is generally followed by the underdoing of others. After all, It Is the cheerful Idiots who make It a habitable old world and one worth while. An habitual knocker may not wear his hammer where it Is visible to the naked eye, but It is always palpable to the sensitive nerve. Every earnest promoter can always be counted on to be faithful to bis own interests. It is a curious circumstance that those people who have plenty of nerve are very seldom nervous. There are some things that have the one drawback of being too comfortable to be really good. It keeps most of tjs taxed to the full of our capacity to get an Income, anyway.