Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 July 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

THE PROCRASTINATOR. We dilly dally all the day In idleness and song. And then we wonder why It is We do not get along, And when the day is at a close We idle half the night, And still we cannot comprehend Why things don’t work out right We sit serenely In the sun And whittle on a stick Or tune our little light guitar And simple music pick. And when the day comes to an end In looking at the score Discover we are only where We were the day before. We make resolves as to our rest We tumble In at night That on the day that’s Just ahead We’ll work with all our might, And when the morrow comes along We qulta forget to try. And It resembles to a T The one that’s Just gone by. And so we run our life along In planning to succeed. And If we drag a living out In luck we are indeed, And at the end we lay us down While eons roll away And rest as sweetly as the ones Who labored every day. A Setback. “Too bad about Joe.” “What's the matter?” “He sprained his arm, and they are afraid he never can pitch again, so his folks are going to make a doctor or something of that sort out of him.” Needs to Be Careful.

“that girl has a lot of money.” “Then she would better look out." “Why?” “She is likely to have a Job lnt of husbands if she doesn’t” Up to the Collector. Teacher—A man bought ten bushels of potatoes for 30 cents a bushel and sold them for 10 cents a peck. Did he gain or lose and how much? Willie (whose father was in business)—Depends on who he sold them to. He Lacks It Man wants a little here below. Well, I should truly smile. He wants a little, don’t you know. And wants It all the while. As Usual. “What’s the matter with her?” “You know she has always wanted the experience of being in love.” “Yes.” “Well, now she is In love, and she is mad about it” Somewhat Backward. “He doesn’t seem to keep up with the times.” “Not quite.’.’ “I suppose he will be learning to ride a bicycle next year.” Convincing. “He is a truly good man.” “Is he really?” “Yes; he admits It” PERT PARAGRAPHS. Ever notice how you suspect either ♦he motive or the sanity of the Individual who Isn’t avowedly after the $?