Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 July 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS.

It is a question whether waiting deserves anything or not, but it sometimes wins. Time, tide and scorching automobiles wait for no man. Sometimes it is merely force of haj)lt that keeps a man from paying £la debts. While an idealist Is looking for his ideal some sordid minded relative is slaving to pay for the idealist’s meai ticket. * One reason why we don’t like to mention our vices is because it is obviously superfluous. When they begin to act as if you were one of the family it will be safe to look out for some other loafing place. When a man is a guy be does not call attention to his condition. That does so itself. There are people who would rather work than Btarve, and as long as they continue to multiply the world Is comparatively safe. There are a great many commendable actions that the ordinary man would rather commend that perform. It is hard to understand when we aren’t hungry how anybody can starve to death. Being optimistic is easy when the conditions are right

His Dreadful Pries. “I have Just had some swell photographs taken.” “I hope that they do you Justice.” “Thanks, awfully, but that’s not what’s troubling me." “What Is?” “How I am ever going to do the photographer justice?” An Oversight. “The constitution Is a grand old document.” * “Yes, but they wrote It too soon.” “Why so?” “They should have waited until automobiles had been Invented and made it unconstitutional to run a fellow down.” Coming. When flying is perfected And man is on the wing A Wilbur Wright elopement Will be the proper thing. Man From City Hall. “Why does the man scrutinize his features so closely In the mirror?” “Perhaps he Is trying to detect the ‘flight of time.” “What for?” “Doubtless he desires to arrest it.”

Her Opinion. “Mr. Footprint, you are the most graceful dancer in the room,” said the sweet young girl to the awkward guy who was falling all over her. “A fine compliment I am sure.” “No; Just a knock on the other dancers.”

Lika Play. “Going to send your son to art school?" “What do they do there?” “Just make pictures.” “I should say not I want him to learn something.” 11 “y An Oversight “Seen anything of a horse thief going by here?” “I don't know. Several men have gone by, but I didn’t think to ask any of them If they were hone thieves."