Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 May 1909 — Fearless. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Fearless.

Cockney—The fox went down there a quarter of an hour ago. Huntsman—Why didn’t ye holler then? Cockney—What did I want to ’oiler for? ’E never bit me.—Punch. Some women seem to think that if every woman would just brace up and be a man the world would be all right Disturbs the Calm. “1 suppose matrimony has its exciting moments.” Wes; at times it is quite hair raising.” If a woman is skillful enough and wise enough to settle the morning cos : fee she probably can settle other domestic difficulties.

A Vacation. Little Willife’s mother had been called away to see a sick relative. Before going she had a motherly talk with that hopeful. “Tou must be a good boy when I am away.” “Yesem.” "And not be lonely.” “Noem,” adding under his breath, “and I won’t wash my ears for a whole week.” Double Cross. Johnny has the whooping cough; Molly has the mumps; Charlie broke the gas jet off; Father’s in the dumps. Bridget said the furnace broke When she shook it down; Parlor grate begins to smoke Like a factory town. Things are going to the bad. Trouble by the peck. Looks as if our good luck had Got it in the neck. The Handy Tool. “What in the world Is the matter with your face?” “I have been shaving myself with a can opener." “A can opener?” “Well, it used to be a razor, but my wife found a better use for It”

Slight Rmmblanc*. “Canlballsm Is no longer practiced.” “Think so?” “Don’t yon?" “I don’t know. I saw a bam actor eating a ham sandwich awhile ago.”

Trained Wrong. M I hear Charley is manled." “Tfce; ho captured a trained nurse." "How do they get on?” “He Is afraid be will hare to trals her all over again.” Spoil the Sale. "Let me sell you a Joke." “How much?” "Fifty cents." "Can I read it first?” "1 should say not. If you did I coildn’t make the sale."