Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

PUBLICITY. The actor man you cannot judge By wbat the showbills say Or by the way his name appears In gorgeous red display. He may not be the grandest scout That ever held a spear, But still they must announce him so To make the crowds appear. Upon the stage he may not act, Like others of his type. For Bour apples or, indeed. For lemons hardly ripe. But, would you ask him to admit In his advance advice That he was nothing but a dub, Not worth the published price? Advance announcements, as you know, Are but a self made puff, And you may gamble that it will Be stated strong enough, For chronic modesty is not In this enlightened day The ruling passion of the man Who figures in the play. And does he differ very much From those who do not act Although In more aggressive tones He may proclaim the fact? You’ll find that men are much the same, Though from the stage afar. Just let the others get your ear To tell you who they are. Had the Proof. "Dreamboy is n true poet.” “I never rend any of his works.” “Neither did I.” “How do you know, then?" “I am on intimate terms with his tailor.” Saved His Few.

“You look all battered up,”

“1 was in a railroad wreck.” “Any lives lost?” “None of mine were.” So Many Do. “He is going to write a book.” “On what line?” "Exposin; something.” “Exposing what?” “His ignorance, I guess.” Classified. “What did you mean by - all that spell?” “Nothing.” “Say, what magazine do you write for?” Quite the Thing. “Poor Brown is gone.” “Did he die a natural death?” “Yes; he was run over by an automobile.”

Competent Interpreter. “How do you manage to travel since you do not know any foreign languages?” ’’ “I have a friend that understands them all who goes along.” “What’s his name?” “Mr. Money."

PERT PARAGRAPHS. Most of us don't‘mind earning our living, but we are impatient of the system that makes it take so much of our time to do so. We are apt to suspect people who always agree with us and to dislike them if they don't There may be some people who marry to get money, but did you ever know anybody to marry to lose It? There is plenty of food for thought lying about, but there seems to be a very small demand for it v We may not admire a pachyderm, but members of that class do seem comfortable under what to most of us seem to be, distressing conditions. It is bard to please everybody, but that isn't any reason why we should find it hard to please anybody.