Jasper County Democrat, Volume 12, Number 3, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 April 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

THE ACCIDENTAL WINNERS. A portion of the luck we have We make ourselves perhaps, But much the greater part of it Comes in the line of snaps. We rustle for our dally bread And lose out In the fight, And then there comes a streak of luck, And everything is bright. We hustle forth at break of day Resolved to grab a chunk Of what success there is In sight By labor, skill or spunk, And when the sun has laid aside Its labors for the day Without a thing to show for it We seek our homeward way. By coaxing, flattery or threats. By talking through our hat. By graft or grab or push or pull Or anything like that, We cannot get a grasp on luck. Inducing it to play A little while in our back lot To pass the time of day. Luck like a summer sigh comes down, Or like an April rain, j Or like a poor relation who Comes on most any train. You cannot catch it with a net Or dig It with a hoe. For if it comes to you it comes. And that is all you know. Profitable/ “I thought you told me he was in his dotage.” " “He Is.” “Well, he skinned me out of SSO in a deal.” “You see, his is a case of precocious second childhood.” For Her to Pay. A duke he would a-wooing go. He didn’t care for beauty. He wanted one on whom there’d be A very heavy duty— In fact, he didn’t care how great. For she was billed to pay the freight. Not if She Saw Him. “I am fond of pretty girls.” “I am surprised.” “Why?” “That you ever got near enough to one to become so.” Doubtful Prospect. Sweet Mary Jane, two hundredweight— I've seen the scales, and it is straight. But we shall cancel all our dates, Though it may cause a stir, For she has bought a pair of skates. And I am dodging her. The Way He Liked Them. “Are you fond of diamonds?” “Under some circumstances.” rWhat?” “Straight flush.” No Chance. Some blessings brighten as they take their flight. And some Can’t brighten even then, because They never come.