Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 84, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 March 1909 — UNCLE ELI'S FABLES. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

UNCLE ELI'S FABLES.

Wherein to the Tail of Each Is Tied a Moral. STORY OF THE LIMPING ASS. Ths Peasant and His Son, Whose Good Intentions Wsre Brought to Naught. The Fox, the Coon and the Pullet That Wasn’t Wise. [Copyright, 1909, by T. C. McClure.] ONE day after having grazed his fill the Camel started down to the water hole to quench his thirst. He was feeling balmy and complacent, and as he walked along be communed to himself: “Ah, It Is good to be a Camel! There’s a hump on my back that any animal In the world might be proud of, and the party that says my neck Is not as graceful as that of the Swan Is a horse thief and a liar.” He bad not yet reached the water when he met the GlrafTe, who was also feeling that he was the It The

two animals surveyed each other for a moment, and then the Camel said: “Huh! You are still carrying your fore legs around with you, I see?” “What about my fore legs?” was demanded. “Why, they make you look like a rail fence with props under it." “Look here, you old fritter with a hump! It is not for you to criticise such ns me. The sight of you woaid scare n rabbit off his legs.” Then followed criticism and abuse until the Wolf came along and butted in and claimed he was the only animal in the forest resembling the American Beauty rose. The Camel and the Giraffe immediately proceeded to tell him how the world looked upon him, and hot words were flying around when the Rhinoceros came up and said: “Gentlemen, these unseemly expressions should cease. It was decided long ago that I am the only thing in the forest worth looking at” The three others at once called his attention to his ungainly shape, awkward movements, pig eyes and scant tail, and the row grew fiercer than ever. A battle was Imminent when the Elephant put in an nppearance, and after listening for a moment he observed: “Well, upon my soul, but this is funny! Who has my bulk? Who has my strength? Who has my agility? Can any of you tear down trees and kill hunters? Let me advise you in a fatherly way to cut it out.” A row with the Elephant was on the carpet when the Wolf happened to look upward and saw the Owl seated on a limb, and he at once called out: “Peace, peace. Let us leave it to the Owl to decide.” “Well, gentlemen.” replied the Owl after a few blinks, “the case seems to be an easy one. Behold my plumage! Gaze into these eyes'! Remember the wisdom with which I am credited! Why. when I hear such common critters as you disputing about which stands at the head of the class”— Moral.—Each and every one of us is all right, but the trouble is to get the other fellow to admit it.

Ths Limping Ass. One day ns the Ass had stopped on the highway while his master entered a saloon to get a glass of beer the Horse came along and halted to say: “The load you are drawing is altogether too much for you.” “Yes, I think so myself.” replied the Ass. “but my master seems to have no feelings.” “How many oats do you get at u feed?" “Two quarts.” “You ought to have four. What day do you get off?” “No day, except Sunday.” “That’s a shame. You ought to have at least half of every Saturday. How often does the master grease the cart?” “Only when it creaks so that it Is a nuisance to his ears.” “Urn! I see. And doesn’t he push when you are going uphill?” “Not a push. On the contrary, he plies the gad the harder.” “Well.” observed the Horse, “it’s a hard case, but you alone are to blame for it. If, for Instance, when you start from here you should be taken with a limp the master would have to take at least half the load off the cart and go easy on you. You can see that. I reckon?” “Of course, and I’ll put It In practice. What an Idiot I am not to have thought of It before!” The Horse passed on with a feeling

that he had done bis duty, and as ths master came out, with a “Gee up!” tbs Asa made a few steps forward and then fell dead lame. Hto feet wen lifted to see if be bad plckd up a stone on the road, and after spending fifteen minutes in seeking to discover the cause of the lameness the master hired another Ass to draw the load home and let hip beast limp behind. When they bad reached fbe barn the lame one whinnied for his feed. None wait forthcoming. At last be raised his voice and cried oat: * “Master, you seem to have forgotten me, and lam hungry.” “Oh, no; I remember you all right,” was the reply. "Is it, then, that tbe*feed Is out?” "Not at all. It Is that you were taken with a limp and I lost the benefit of your-services. Your feed Is pay for your work. No work, no feed.” Moral—One may not be satisfied with his lot, but he can always make it worse for himself.

The Peasant and His Bon. Upon his return from town one day brought a book with him, and, handing it to his little son, he said: "My son, It Is well to know what others think and say. Read this book and try to be guided and benefited by its precepts.” & Two weeks later the old man came In from his corn hoeing and said to the boy: "Jnnlns, I have not seen that watch of mine around for many days, and I fear that I have lost it in the fields.” "Oh, no, father; I can tell you where it is,” was the reply. Thereupon the lad led the way to the garden and with a hoe dug up the watch from the soli wherein it was burled. "Dolt! idiot! Ass! You have ruined my watch!” exclaimed the father as he took it in his hand. "But I was only following the precepts laid down In the book you so kindly gave me,” was the reply. "But that cannot be.” “But yet it Is so, as you can read for yourself. It says that a seed planted will produce fivefold, and If we had left this watch a few days longer we should have been able to dig up a couple of clocks.” Moral—The difference between theory and practice has brought many good Intentions to naught

The Fox, tho Coon and the Pullet. One day as the Fox was prowling around a barnyard he discovered a fine, fat pullet seated on the limb of a tree out of reach. He asked her to come down that he might tell her some news, and when this failed he resorted to threats. Knowing that he could not climb the tree after her, the Pullet bade him defiance, and Reynard seemed to have given over when the Coon came along and said: “You are awfully cute, Mr. Fox, but you might as well let go in this case. You have tried deceit, hypocrisy, threats and cajolery, but none of them has worked.” “That is true,” replied the Fox, “but I have a weapon in reserve. Watch my smoke.” And thereupon he began praisiiig the pullet’s plumage, her eyes, her small feet and her plumpness, and ten minutes later she came down from the tree and was eaten. Moral.—War has lost empires, but flattery has made kings. M. QUAD.

"YOU HAVE RUINED MY WATCH.”