Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 77, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 February 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. It is hard to tell a mince pie from an unquiet conscience when all you have to go by is the troubled look worn next morning. The only way to keep a wise man from getting boresome is to go after him and make him foolish occasionally. Being good to everybody is an Excellent way to get yourself polnted/out as an easy mark. ' Lack of opportunity makes some men dishonest. t You can’t keep yourself out of the books of the recording angel by denying his acquaintance.

There is nothing like having an observant neighbor. She is a whole public opinion in herself. Many people think that one good turn entitles them to your services for the rest of their natural lives.

A small boy can do more to accumulate nervous prostration than any other known thing, but it is never operative upon the small boy. Nevermore. > It’s just One hundred Years ago Since Mr. Edgar >, . Allan Poe Appeared To take men By surprise And very deftly Poetize. / One day " When he jrtfc Was feeling sore ” He wrote y A rhyme Called “Nevermore" About A raven Who could spout And deftly Find His way about. Just what He meant I never knew. It ought To have * A key or two To help Along The dull of mind A meaning In The lines to find. And that Is why We call him great, Because Up to The present date No mortal Yet Has learned to read The meaning Hidden In the screed. Quite Likely. "Why are some people so hard to understand?” “Trouble is with yourself.” “Explain.” “In trying to understand them you are only overrating them instead.” Probably. “That young man is having considerable trouble taking care of his crop of wild oats." “Is he?” “Yes.” “Must have been Bohemian oats.” The Great Nuisance. First Scrib (at work on a poem)

—Ah, no one enjoys the feelings engendered by the approach of spring as the poet does. Second Scrlb— But think howmuch more everybody would enjoy spring if the poet would only keep his feelings to himself.

Out. When you have a deep desire In the land of dreams to scouL Then it is the furnace Are Goes and dies completely out. When you’re driven to distraction And your wits are put to rout, Then your housemaid takes quick action And goes permanently out. But don’t gamble much on outing. If you do, you scarce will win. You will find out past all doubting Bill collectors catch you in. Pertinent Question. “He says he is the architect of his own fortune.” “That’s all right, but I would like to know one thing.” “What is it?” “Who holds the first mortgage?” Something New. “I don’t believe he ever did an original thing in his life.” “Oh, yes, he did.” “What was it?” “Stayed home one night with bls wife.” ~ Woman’s Viewpoint. “Man Is a superior being.” “Yes; so I have always noticed.** “How?” “By his bearing.” *