Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 75, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 February 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

THE GROUND HOG. _____ j** Cunning little ground bog, A Can you really say , What the weather will be like S’ Almost into May? ,'f Will you really, truly, Cross your heart and swear If you see your shadow We should have a care? How can you, I wonder. Dope it ready made With n shadow only For your stock in trade? , , How can you so deftly Six weeks’ weather cook When you know you never ; Read a single book? Bay, did you Inherit From a grandsire dead Skill to fix the weather Some six weeks ahead? Or does power inherent Run through all your tribe? And we’d like to ask you Would you take a bribe? Merry little ground hog, You may think you’re smart As you so offhanded Exercise your art When you see your shadow Saying, “ ’Twill be thus Bix more weeks of winter, * But it's tough on us.

At Palm Beach.

He —Women’s gowns are the limit nowadays. ' She—That’s right. Aren’t those sheath gowns perfectly shocking? Lucky For Him. "Coal has been in common use only about 100 years.” “Really, that is too bad.” “Why is it?” \ “The coal man ought to have lived In the days when torture was a popular amusement.” Too Bad. You make a bluff. It’s just enough To get what you’ve required. But, sad to say. It is some day Enough to get you fired. Piggish. “Well, we all have our point of view.” “All except Brown. He insists upon having more.” “How more?” “Oh, acres and acres of it” Wanted the Excitement. “Is your refusal to marry me final?” “Of course not.” “Why didn’t you say so long ago?” “Don’t you suppose I like to be coaxed?” Nature Studies. On chests no chestnuts ever grow Nor walnuts on a wall. A faker he who told you* so. No heed give him at all. .The buttercup and butterfly No butter know, nay, nay. The butternut grows far too high To make a churn’s display. The cowslips never look on cows Or see them when they slip. Wake robins no such birds arouse. So kindly take a tip.