Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 75, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 February 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

HIS OWN MANAGER. The actor on the stage of life. He doesn't have a cue Or low suggestion from the side To help him hurry through. No; he must struggle with the plot And action of the play And all unaided by himself Must think of things to say. No limelight plays about his head. No band starts a refrain .To help him over places hard And make the meaning plain. The makeup man on whom he leans Sells hand-me-downs unless The old clothes man with secondhand! Supplies his modest dress. And If he does a noble deed Or aids a worthy cause He knows too much to stand around Andowalt for the applause. He feels the chance for getting praise Fdr It is mighty .slim. The audience sits back and says, “What’s in the thing for him?" The actor and the actorlne Must dig and save and scrub Because stage money will not pay For furniture and grub. If playing oh the stage of life It doesn't end In talk. No odds how fancy is his line, The ghost will never walk.

Love Versus Money.

When a man makes love to a woman a woman always wonders why, but it is the other woman who does the wondering. Half Revenge. I have no automobile To mangle up my foes, But I can buy some gasoline To sprinkle on their clothes. Chance For Scrap. “They can’t decide on a name for the baby.” “Why don’t they have a family conference?” “You mean a council of war?” “Why, would they include the moth-er-in-law ?' Pa Knew. “Pa.” “Well?” “What is a danger signal?" “The kick your mother gives me under the table.” .Painful. “My rich uncle is dead.” “Leave anything?” “Just a collar button.” “Got it in the neck, didn’t you?”

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