Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 73, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 February 1909 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

’ PERT PARAGRAPHS. It is hard to make some people understand that your time is not all their own and still keep any semblance of politeness.

The brand of courage that a man gets out of a bottle is too apt to ooze from bls finger tips in a time of need. If our mental capacity grew in proportion to our own estimate of it, geniuses would be so thick that we should step on them when we stroll abroad in the evening. /

Sometimes wisdom comes with years and sometimes with tears.

They are really and truly our friends who will smile an 4 look interested the tenth time we tell our stock of anecdotes to them. A woman does hate to pay for fancy groceries when she has her eye on a swell bit of millinery down street. The greatest compliment that you can pay your friends is to assume that they need no defense.

Poor Woman. “How is your wife?” “On the mend.” “Why, I heard she was worse.” “So she is, but she said the stockings just had to be darned, anyway, If she died for It.” Too True. “There are lots of women lecturers.” “Now, I wonder why you said it that way.” “How else?” “There are lots of women." The Modern Way. “I suppose they killed the fatted calf on his return?” “No; they just opened a new can of breakfast food.” Casting Shadows. The weather’s acting very queer/ Some days are dark and some are fair; Sometimes the atmosphere is clear; Sometimes the fog fills up the air. Today’s a smile, the next’s a frown. It’s hard to tell what to expect. The mercury- plays up and down Until its tube is almost wrecked. Perhaps the woodchuck might explain And tell us why the weather changes. No doubt his dreams are full of pain As in and out his fancy ranges. And, soundly sleeping, “Shade or shine, Wnich shall It be?” his visions vary. “Which, shade or shine? What portion's mine. Oh, fateful day of February?"

That Perplexed Look.

The perplexed look so often seen upon the faces of women is undoubtedly due to their struggles to keep up their dignity and to cinch a bargain at the same time.