Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 61, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 January 1909 — UNCLE ELI’S ADVICE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

UNCLE ELI’S ADVICE.

The Owl and the Peasant Who Made Fun of Him. THE DONKEY AND THE CANINE How They Camo to Grief at the Hands Their Master In Seeking to Prove Their Virtuee—Moral For a Good Man. I, [Copyright, 1908, by T. C. McClure.J ONE day at high noon the peasant discovered an owl perched In a tree aud asked him whether a small bird sitting directly toward the sun was a bluebird or a chickadee. The owl looked and blinked, aud looked again and finally admitted that he couldn’t be sure. Thereupon the peasant began making fun of bis vision and telling him that fie was no good and ended up by expressing his astonishment that nature should have wasted so much material. The owl felt humbled and humiliated, but bided his time until darkness came. Then he paid a visit to the peasant's cottage and called him out and said: “In flying around I have discovered a lost purse. Come with me and recover it.’’ The two proceeded along the highway for half a mile, and then the owl stopped and said: “Behold the purse.” “But where?” asked the peasant. “Only two or three yards from your feet.” “But it might as well be a mile away. It is so dark that I cannot see." Then the owl began to make fun of the man’s vision and ended up by ‘saying that nature must have been in a funny mood when she created a man that couldn’t see in the darkness. Moral.—ln criticising others we forget our own deficiencies.

The Am and the Dog. The Ass and the Dog had long been jealous of each other, and, finding themselves in company one day, the former began: “Did you hear our master praising me today for the heavy load I drew up the long bill?” “Yes. I heard him say a word or two, but you ought to have been around last night when I caught a rabbit.. I was really embarrassed by the praise bestowed.” "But you can’t draw even an empty cart.”

“And you can't tell a tramp from the family doctor.”

“I am twice the size you are.” “But I can run twice as fast as you cdn.”

“Bay, now,” remarked tbe Am, “What would the master do without me on market day?” “Oh, come off,” replied the Dog. “Who stays at home and guards the farm while he is gone to town?” “You know I drove the wolf away once.” “But what is that compared to the two thieves I chased for half a mile?” “Oh, well, this thing can be easily settled. I can bray louder and lot than you can bark.” “I deny it. Come on and see.” Thereupon the Ass began braying and the Dog barking, and tjie uproar soon became hideous. Aftef it had continued for a few minutes the master appeared with a club and laid qbont him with heavy and Impartial hand. "Alas!” cried the Donkey as he winced under the blows. “You have taught me to believe that you appreciated me.” "And , I was under tbe belief that you doted on me,” added the Dog. “Know ye.” replied the master as he paused for breath, “that while an Ass or a Dog in his place is a joy forever he has but to step out of it to render himself a nuisance.” Moral.—Man often comes to grief In seeking to prove his virtues. It is better to keep quiet and let others judge them.

The Wolves and the Goat. In feeding on the. hillside one day the Goat became careless and fell among the rocks and sustained mortal injuries. He lay there, gasping and suffering, when two Wolves came along, and the first cried out: “Ah, what have we here? The Goat has had a bad fall.” “It looks like it, indeed,” replied the other, “but let us go slow about it and make no mistake. It is my opinion that he has broken both his hind legs.” “And it is plain to me that he has broken both bjs fore legs.” “Ton must see that,l am right, and I further declare that if we can get the Goat home his life can be saved, I won’t warrant that his hind legs wIU be as good as ever, but he will be able to climb around fairly well.” “Your diagnosis of this case shows, what a fool you are. A blind man could see that it is bis fore legs and that nothing can be done In his case. I tell you it is hopeless.” "And I tell you it is not.” At that moment the Goat recovered consciousness, and. looking up at the Wolves, he appealed to them to do lomething for him. “But your fore legs are broken,” re plied one. i “But your hind legs are broken,” added the other. “Alas, It is neither my fore legs nor my hind ones.” replied the Goat, “but myuspine.” “But I must still insist”— ' ’ J “And «o must I.” < And while the squabble was being renewed the Goat died. As soon as

this fact was discovered the first Watt observed: ' ■ ■ “I am store my treatment wooM have saved him.” “And I know that mine would." added the second. "But since be is dead”“We will eat him;” ? Moral.—The lawyer and the doctor must always be paid. « The Bags and the Good Man. One day as the sage was looking for huckleberries on a chestnut tree and wondering why the biggest harvest apples always grew on the highest branches of the apple trees nearest to the house he was approached by a man who said: “Oh, sage, I have come to thee for a chunk of advice!" "Your name?” was asked. “Peter Jones." “Your avocation?” “That of a good man.” “How good are you?” “O sage, I have lived In this world for sixty years, and there is no man to say I have wronged a fellow man!" “That’s a pretty fair record, but what advice do you want?” “The people would have me to represent them in office. The question with me is, am I too good?” “Um! That’s a new one on me, but it’s not so very hard. Canst get a nomination?” "By acclamation. It is a dead sure thing.” "Then go in.” The good man went away feeling even gooder, but at the end of a few weeks he returned to wall out: “0 sage, but why didst thou give me such advicb! -1 thought your words

“SAGE, I HAVE COME TO THEE TOR A CHUNK, OF ADVICE.” were wise and followed them; but, alas, I am undone!” “You ran for office?” “I did.” “And then newspapers showed you up as a liar, a hypocrite, a knave and all else that is bad?” “Alas, they did!” “And you were snowed under?” “Buried under an avalanche. Why advise me as you did?” “Simply, my friend, to show you the difference between a man knowing himself through himself or through his fellow men.” M. QUAD.