Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 December 1908 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

Thought Well of Him. “I am taking this on a doctor’s prescription,” said the man half apologetically who was discovered putting away about three fingers of red liquor. “Introduce me to your doctor,” said the casual acquaintance who had been obliged to drop in without a single excuse. Profitable Calling. “Jones appears to be doing better than he did. What is he doing for a living now?” “I believe ills chief occupation is being husband to a rich widow whom he married a few months ago.” Puzzled. “Say, do you know where you get off?’ “No, and I don’t care. That ain’t what Is puzzlin’ me.” “Well, what Is?* “How do I get on?* 'V » The Grouch. f “What’s the news?’ “I’m no newspaper.” “Oh, excuse me. I thought**— “What?’ “You looked worth about a cent.” PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Tbe woman who can’t follow the fashions of the day may at least have sweet comfort in course of time looking at the pictured fashion of tbe day and murmur, “Thank heaven, 1 never looked like that!” If you should go into the business of being superstitious, ten to one a lot of people would come around and want you to take money for it

The average girl is apt to think that the samples of manhood that come under her observation are not up to specifications and not what they are advertised to be. It takes plenty of sand to get to be an aeronaut. Need it for ballast. It is quite remarkable that when an American family gets a count settled in the family a lot of ac-counts, both large and small. Immediately bob up and make a clambering that nothing but large American dollars will pacify. Prosperity is now fashionable; but, like many other fashionable fads, some have not the wherewith to indulge. It is'tlnie that some of us reflect that we ought to be thankful that we are thankful.

It is usually the people who don’t know enough to go in after dark that give the police the most trouble. Sometimes it seems that the more real, hard work a man does in the world the less it amounts to so fhr ar he is concerned. After ail, Thanksgiving only serves to put us in fairly good trim far the merry Christmas