Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 November 1908 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

Out For Results. “Do you expect to be in tbe football team?” asked tbe casual friend of the young man just entering college “No,” replied tbe astute youth. “I shall devote the time to my studies, and if at tbe end of tbe season 1 feel something lacking 1 can get an automobile to run over me,”

Bhe Might. “Woman can’t do man’s work. She couldn’t be a blacksmith, for example.” “Nor “Could afaer “Doesn’t it consist largely In wielding tbe hammer r

Didn’t Get Mixed. "So annoying! I cannot remember dates and faces. Are you ever troubled that way?” .* "No; I cannot say that I am. So far I have been able to remember all of the faces that I have had dates with.” Popular Ticket. "What office did you say your unde was running for?” "County treasurer.” "On what ticket?” "I dunqo. On the meal ticket, I guess.” Where it Belongs. “Let me sell you some flying machine stock.” "Chance to get in on the ground door?” "Oh, no; up on the cloud levels!” Fatiguing. “I’ve been thinking”— “Have you?” “Yes”— “I noticed that you looked all done gp.” PERT PARAGRAPHS. It is foolish to he angry, bat foolishness has great affinity for lots of good people. One doesn’t mind having to work, hot is sometimes particular about who catches one at it A stitch at nine saves time. The man who knows bow not to lie adhould patent bis device and retire to a life of luxurious ease on the proceeds. ' It is often Just as hard to want what you get as it la to get what you want. The man who has his doubts doesn’t •mount to much unless he is willing to heck them with bis dollars. It Is impossible for some men to lose their voice, for If you will consult with their household arbitrators you will tad, alas, that they have no voice to

It is impossible for some people to keep their mouths abut, for If they were to do so the tops of their heads would undoubtedly blow off. The mao who never gets mad at hto wife. It is fair to presume, has neither wife nor temper.