Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 October 1908 — NEW SHORT STORIES [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

NEW SHORT STORIES

The Celebrity, Lyman Beecher Stowe, grandson of Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe and grandnephew of Lyman Beecher, tells this story on himself: When bp first came to New York hii roommate was a young man who had juat been taken on one of the evening papers as a reporter. After be had been there a short time the editor informed him that his job was to consist in getting a short dally interview with “some celebrity.” That sounded' pretty good to tin young man. So the first day he sal lied forth and had no difficulty in land ing John Kendrick Bangs. Afterward he waylaid Cyrus Townsend Brady. In short, for a week or so the daily celebrity interview went on swimming ly, and the editor was delighted. But soon the work began to get mor? difficult. Celebrities either were too

coy or weren’t at home. He got several reproofs at the office for failing to liunt them down, so lie grew desperate. On one of his most desperate days he entered his room, found his roommate, Mr. Stowe, there and smiled mysteriously to himself. Then he began asking Mr. Stowe questions—what were his views on municipal politicson the business situation? Puzzled, but unsuspecting, Mr. Stowe gave his views at some length. The next day the evening paper above mentioned came out with this: “Our Daily Interview With a Celebrity. Lyman Beecher Stowe on Politics and the Business Situation." “Well, you’ve go a nerve!” Stowe informed his roommate when the latter got home that night. “How dared you pass me off as a celebrity?" “Lyman Beecher Stowe,” said the graceless reporter, “do you suppose that anybody seeing your name would think you were anything else?”—New York Times.

Minstrel Lost Out. An Indian medicine show represented one of the first “professional” engagements of George Evans of the Cohand & Harris minstrels. The engagement lasted only one day. Young Evans was engaged by the .“professor” as official sobriety preserver. In other words, he was to see that the Indiarts aid not fill up on firewater until their day’s work was done. “Ladies and gentlemen,” announced the “professor" that afternoon during a lapse in the lecture, “we will now witness a genuine Indian war dance rendered by our entire redskin aggregation.” Then he whispered to Evans, who was standing near by. looking frightened: “Where’s the aggregation?” “I—l’ve lost track of ’em,” confessed Evans in a tremble. “I’ll find ’em.” muttered the “professor.” He sped straight to the nearest saloon, where he found the “aggregation” in a state that would have prevented a creditable rendition of the war dance. Evans’ engagement ended right there.

Knew His Business. The Leroy Reporter tells this story about John E. Watrous of Burlington, Kan., one of the deputy collectors of internal revenue: Traveling along a country road. Mr. W’atrous was attracted by frightful screams coming from a little house not far from the road. Hurriedly tying his horse, he ran to the house and found a little boy had swallowed a quarter, and his luothwß not knowing what to do, was frairac. Mr. Watrous caught the little fellow by the heels and, holding him up, gave him a,few shakes, whereupon the coin dropped to the floor. “Weil, mister,” said the grateful mother, “you certainly know how to get it out. Are you a doctor?” “No, madam,” replied Watrous. “I’m a collector of internal revenue.”—Topeka Capital.

When Mr. Taft Practiced Law. While he was practicing law in Cincinnati Mr. Taft* represented a litigant who had brought suit to recover a large sum in damages from a former business partner. The attorney for the defendant called upon Mr. Taft and suggested a compromise. Mr. Taft shook his head and replied: ’T'tn afraid this is one of the tilings w<» cannot cotnpromlse. You reir' nl me in your position somewhat of the colonel in the civil war who was asked after his first battle how. he liked it. He replied, •Oh, personally I didn’t mind it so much, but when I raw my men falling all around me I said to myself, “See here, isn’t there some way that this confounded thing can be compromised?”’”

“WELL, YOU’VE GOT A NERVE!"