Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 October 1908 — Humor and Philosophy [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Humor and Philosophy

By DUNCAN M. SMITH

PERT PARAGRAPHS. As a rule, the people who make such an ado about the truth being told them are particular about the kind. The man who trims his sail to suit every breeze makes a great reputation for activity, but doesn’t get anywhere. A

No woman wants a man to be a bungler at lovemaking, but she is sure to be jealous of his experience. Poverty is indeed a blessing. It gives such a warm and comfortable glow to those who do not possess it. Riches have long had wings. It is soon to be hoped that they will be the possessors of aeroplanes. Be kind to your neighbors. You never know until you have tried it what an appetite for kindness they have. But the trouble is that if we get all we need we never have any place in which to put the surplus. Some friendships that were kindled and toasted their toes at the fires of prosperity need to be Incased in a fireless cooker when the winds of adversity begin to blow. A man may be great and not know it himself, but most of us are great and have exclusive knowledge of the fact

At Lest. Look up. Look up And see What's here. With wings And things With which To steer. It is— Can I Believe my eye 7 A queer Contraption That can fly. For many Years, The records say. The world Has waited For this day. The lofty hope Encompassed it That / Some time ' It would rise And flit. How men In all The ages past Have labored On This project vast; Have mounted Sail On bamboo light And, baffled. Paused Just short Of flight; Have bended wire And twisted rope. Their hearts enkindled By the hope That some day they Would rise and plow The upper air As we do now.

One Way. “See that well dressed, fine looking guy?” “Yes.” “Bill, the buiA. just passed the time of day with him.” / “Pretty swift company. Does Bill know him?” “Never saw him before.” “How did he come to pass the time of day?” “Swiped h 1 p watch.”

Explained. The tog horn’s voice is very rough. The reason, I am told, It’s out in stormy weather And always has a cold. Naturally That. "I suppose the airship will develop a new language, just as the automobile did." “Sure. There will be airship lingo.” “I wonder what it will lie like.” “Something highfalutin.” a - ■ ■ ■ Escaped After Results. "Bay, old man, you’re looking fine.” T’m feeling up at the top notch.” I “What’s the reason? Couldn’t you get off this season for a vacation?” Appropriate Markings. "He took an examination for a position with the weather bureau.” “How high did he pass?” "Ninety in the shade.”