Jasper County Democrat, Volume 11, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 June 1908 — ALL ABOARD FOR LAKE VILLAGE. [ARTICLE]

ALL ABOARD FOR LAKE VILLAGE.

The Newton county republican convention will be held at Lake Village June 10. This little hamlet In the wilds of Newton county had become famous fifty years ago for the brand of whiskey kept there, a drink of which would cause a man to raise more kinds of hell In an hour than he could straighten out in a natural life time. However, don’t jump to the conclusion, dear readers, that our brethren, the enemy, have selected this hotelless, restaprantless, grubless home of two of the ihree saloons in Newton county because it is minus every convenience—where a moral sentiment wotjld be as ill at ease as a preacher at a horse race—necessary to holding a county convention, even to a room large enough to lay out a half dozen statesmen after they become too full for utterance. Such a conclusion would be a slander, a base, unmitigated slander, upon the face of it. Not for a moment would the Goodlanders, Kentlanders, and Brookites pass through Morocco,

the most’ central town in the county; not for a moment would the Mt. Ayraens desert Bro. Garrity for Bro. Kight’s beer, each and all of them loaded with two biscuits and a radish, bound for Lake Village, if some great principle, some momentous issue, was not impending —howling as it were to be met. The country must be saved, and these patriotic citizens having for the time being laid aside the bad water and hop ale of their respective towns and selected Lake Village, where there are two saloons, and where under the liberal management in this “deestrict” long benches and tables could be provided and thus give every man a chance to eat his bologna, drink his beer, and thoroughly enjoy himself, and bathed in smoke and foam, consider matters of State in a manner befitting the occasion. Then, when the convention assembles under the stately oaks. can consecrate themselves anew to the momentous work before them, declare for a revision of the tariff and —more beer. To see the scales evenly balanced, with victory on one side and a jug of Lake Village hair-pulling, fightproducing, tree-climbing, leg-tangl-ing, forty-rod whiskey on the other, is- one of the events of this life that several of the local politicians, who can locate a bottle of beer at the bottom of a well 1,000 feet deep and that had been filled up a hundred years, do not intend to miss, and bright and early they will leave town, loaded with a link of bologna in one pocket and a nickle’s worth of crackers in the other, hiking in a nortirwesterly direction for Lake Village. A large and enthusiastic audience is already assured, and it will be well for some of the brethren to take along two or three links of bologna and a half-dozen radishes to insure genuine comfort for the vast multitude.