Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 March 1907 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

A New Aid Fable. This is not a George Ado fable, though it may sling some slang. It is a Home Aid fable. Once there was a Geezer, who sat around and cut Kindling too small for Cook Stove purposes. He Whittled against Time and Flabbergasted against his Town. The town was No Good, he said—strictly on the Blink. Yes, it was N. G. Why, hadn’t he lived Here since ’B4 and found that the Place was Punky? Sure, Mike! Look at that town over in the next CJountv. Grown like Jonah’s Gourd. Must be a Jonah here. We’ve grown some, but I don’t see that we’re knocking any particularly Big Persimmons. That’s the way this Gazaboo knocked his town. One day a Sarcastic Stranger floated Into the Town that was Knocked from the burg that had Blossomed like Jonah's Gourd. He Heard some ' of the Flabbergasting rK and Dropped to the sit--1 \ uatlon. \ J “Look here, you.” he V remarked to the citizen \\ who was Handing Out \\ the Knocks. "What do | l you do for this town? 1 l Are you dolnfc your part j. to put this Burg on the Upgrade? What's that I^/ iTr hefty Bunch drcflHwg.* Order I Catalogue from Chijmfyr fIHBMBME cage—a town that is a ■Li djh 1 town,” replied the Gee"So I thought,” said aßHflftgljjfleMk the Impertinent ArrivHEEE&jjgj al. "Now let me hand HRflB you nut a nice little ■SBBH common 4gg§lra» For the past ten years • - BL vo-.i have t-i-en sending ■Ok t our money to <'hi- ' |B —rage, Mail Order hous. s among home mtrJHb I happened to ChiO cago fifty ago First Settlers IBP fIE had shipped their Loose Coin to New York on MmSj catalogue Inducements? Why, you’d have to use a sand dredger now to find the Original Site Braces*. of Chicago. Now, In the Burg from which I have just Blown In we‘ got over all this Bum Business years ago. We passed Resolutions that we would trade.at home and help our own town to Spread out so that you could Sight it on the map without using Opera Glasses. But you and a Bunch of other folks in this town have wasted your Substance In Riotous Expenditures in Chicago by mall and let the sheriff hang out the ‘Nothing Doing’ sign in front of some of your own town's mercantile Emporiums. Look at our Town and then look at yours. What makes the Difference?” Whereupon the Whittling Gazaboo threw a few well chosen Thoughts into his mental makeup and went down to the village store to Annex a linen collar in place of the Paper Circles which he had bought from Chicago at Two Bits a Box. MORAL: If you want your town to grow, patronize home enterprises.

ANNOUNCEMENT. The Maude Henderson Co., will open their week’s engagement Monday at Ellis opera house in the great four aot sensational Comedy Drama, ‘‘The Waifs Of New York.” This is a good company, and is deserving of good houses. Popular Prices. Now is the time to buy curtain stretchers at Williams’.