Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 November 1906 — On the Side. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

On the Side.

Married men seldom seem to think that bachelors are in need of sympathy. Many a child that loves a cat, in later life has a great fondness for the kittle. If some men chased opportunity as promptly as they chase the calliope in a circus parade, there would be a fewer failures in this world. This is the open season for eradicating the demon who questions you regarding the status of the thermometer by asking, “Is this hot enough for you?” A young man grew presumptuous and kissed a maiden on the lips. This was at a summer resort. She tossed her pretty head and said, “Don’t!” “Stop!”—but this isn’t the way she punctuated it! “Which costs the most,” asks a Kentuckian; "to lead a double life or keep an automobile?” Those who have done both and survived will settle a great question by giving their expert testimony.

A Kansas paper says one of the town’s nicest girls who was recently married spent a whole day trying to pick the wool off a rabbit that she might have rabbit stew for dinner. It doesn’t always pay to be up in the world. During the recent hot spell in Chicago some of the ice-men refused to deliver ice above the second story. Those nearer heaven had to blow on their butter to cool it. I got into conversation with a young conductor on a Chicago cable car the other evening. He was a frank, clear-cut fellow and pleasant of countenance. He makes sl2 a week as a “tripper” and is saving his money. “This the first job I have had in Chicago where I could save money," he said to me in a burst of confidence Saving money in Chicago on sl2 a week! It made me ashamed of my improvidence. This young fellow is saving money on sl2 a week, and will use his capital in equipping with machinery and stock a small farm in Michigan. And he earned this farm by the practice of the same provident characteristics that mark his saving on sl2 a week. My street car conductor acquaintance will be a prosperous man some day while others with equal chances, will be shoveling dirt and grumbling at the government