Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 September 1906 — Just a Few. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Just a Few.

Every man is a king to his bride —but after the honeymoon he falls in rank to “only a volunteer.” Some couples celebrate their wedding anniversary in the hope of forgetting their regret at least for the day. Have faith and trust; He true, you must! Strive much; aim high— Then do, or die! Many a man who could not be hired to beat a carpet, will beat a bass drum all day in the village band, and think he is having a lot of fun! An Iowa editor says Wally Bidwell claims to have caught an 18-pound cat fish, and adds, “He is such a big cuss we are afraid to doubt his word.”

When horses were in fashion we had a dog called the coach dog. Now that automobiles are the rage I suppose we will soon have an automobile canine to be known as the chew-chew dog. A friend of mine has a cat that is of so little value as goods, chattels etc., that he decided a month ago tc give her to some more interested party. A small boy with a cow-lick in his hair happened along and was duly presented with the feline. Ot course, “the cat came back.” My friend next gave her a liberal allot ment of rough-on-rats, but this only accelerated her night soprano work and last week he made up his mind to be rid of her for good. He bor rowed his wife’s wash-boiler, bought a pint of chloroform and released both cat and chloroform under the boiler. Then he went out on his front porch and smoked a cigar in peace and com fort. After an hour had elapsed, he slyly lifted the boiler from over the cat and there she lay, stark and stiff Grasping Tabby firmly by the tail, my friend carried the body into the gar den and dug a nice, round grave. Into this he tumbled the cat’s remains and covered her with dirt. Then he heaved a great sigh of relief and went back to his porch to enjoy another cigar. He had Just gotten down to the nub, where the sweet puffs are, when he felt something rub against his trouser’B leg. Looking down with a start, he beheld the cat, slightly covered with soil, but otherwise as good as new. When he got over the idea that he waß being haunted he decided to keep the cat as long as she would stay!