Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 September 1906 — By the Way. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

By the Way.

To the pure all things are pure, except canned beef. There’s no place like home —when the club is closed. Some men are so deceitful they laugh at their own Jokes. Many a man would like to trade a good scheme for a square meal. The patent medicine always helps the man who sells his testimonial. Don’t kick a man when he’s down. He may have a brick In his pocket. If you cannot forgive your enemies, try it on some of your fool friends. ’Somehow it always makes a man philosophical to visit a churchyard. The real meaning of the word “hero” Is: “A sincere man.” Alas! How few heroes there are nowadays! Men do not need charity so much as the opportunity to dispense with charity. Dowie once referred to Wall street operators as a “gang of Capt. Kidds.” Shall not even the grave be sacred against slander? ’* ,nT '' Every man, like every piece of pottery, has his test. If he rings true, he has withstood it; if not, he is a mere bit of sgly clay.

A Detroit paper tells of a man that burns off his whiskers instead of shaving. Same man that used to drive ’em in, undoubtedly. Sandpaper is good, too. " '*■ Ton may not get all that is coming to you in this world, but the knowledge that you have it coming may not give you an entirely happy passport into the next. A little girl friend of mine, after gazing with wonder at a day old calf, rushed home to her mother with the cry: *Oh, mamma, there's the cutest little calf out at the barn, and he’s lust hatched!” The Ram's Horn says laughter lengthens our lives and shortens every day. Vote for Uncle By for president on the Christmas Present ticket and he will make life one continual joke for everybody. * An authority says fully half the proposals are made while the parties are “out driving.” If this be true, the automobile is no friend of Cupid, and by supplanting the horse Is driving our lovers to taking the fatal plunge in unknown and unromantic places. Surely no man would try to propose and run an automobile at the same time.