Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 20, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 August 1906 — Tag. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Tag.

A too lustily crowing cock frequently is served to the boarders. Moral. —Do not crow too early. A cow ate the ear off a Naw York dude who was spending a day in a hammock in Kansas. ’Those Kansas cows always did have an abnormal appetite for green stuff. A dispatch says the Milwaukee Press club while crossing Lake Michigan found a peculiarly shaped bottle. Investigation showed it to contain only a copy-of the “Mars Daily Graphic.” Gee, what a disappointment! ’Tis said the “red hot” vendors of the city would like “to shoot this here ‘Uptown’ St. Clair on the spot,” and I don’t believe they would be particular what spot, either. He has ruined their business. If you want to kiss the Blarney stone, you must go to Blarney Castle. If you want to kiss a beautiful girl with soulful brown eyes, rose-bud lips and ticklish ringlets, you must go to the ice-cream parlor first and blarney her afterwards. “The Spur”. Is the title of a new book by G. B. Lancaster. From the name the book might be a story of the money majJ times, “the spur” being a society loving wife. lam told the book Isn’t at all like this, but the title suggests a social novel. Therefore I remark thusly. What bothers me these perfect mornings as I wander along Lake Michigan on my early constitutional, is the ease with which the sea gull hangs perfect-

ly still in the air. He sits on nothing, as it were, without flapping his wings or flirting his tail. The more I gaze at him, the more I respect him. if I could go out and sit on the air like that I could make money by it. There has been added to the literary crop this year a goodly number of stories and poems written while the authors were in jail. It is not explicitly stated as to whether or no the crime for which they were incarcerated had its embodiment in like contributions written before they were found guilty, but from a perusal of some of the aforesaid stories and poems, it is presumed that such is the case. In mentioning the June bride so frequently, dilating upon what she wore, how pretty she was and the list of presents, I have entirely overlooked the June bridegroom. Suffice it to say, at this late date, that for every bride there has been a bridegroom—but from npw on he doesn't count. All he has to do is to earn the living and save a few thousand every year with which to educate their progeny. A small but tenacious fox terrier can get more joy and noise out of treeing a squirrel at five a. m. than a brass band playing "Down Where the Wurtzburger Flows" all evening. I know, because there is one of these joyful little cusses in my neighborhood and I haven’t had any beauty sleep in six weeks. That accounts for the “plain” look in my likeness at the head of this column.