Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 August 1906 — LITTLE VISITS WITH "UNCLE BY" [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

LITTLE VISITS WITH "UNCLE BY"

Interesting Jiggers. "It is a wise father that knows his own son,” according to the adage, but Dowie’s father insists he recognizes the strawberry mark on “Elijah.” William J. Bryan declares the campaign In 1908 will decide whether America swallows the trusts or the trustß swallow America. Eat ’em alive. One would scarcely expect to find deviled-ham sandwiches on the picnic bill of fare these days. Strawberry pie with ants in it continues to be popular, however. * The pure food Investigation has developed the fact that some mighty poor machine oil has been sold as olive oil for salad dressing. Oh, well, what matter, so long as it lubricates! One inch more on the shirt-tails of Kansas, according to a morning newspaper, will make a market for all Kansas wool. I can see no reason why this should not be done. Of course, If the inch were to be taken off instead of—er—l beg your pardon. It Isn’t true that the National Editors were taken ill on their junketing trip because of pressed chicken eaten in Peru, Ind. In committee assembled the scribes diagnosed their infler consciousness and decided it was the lemonade. It is safe to assume that some of the Kentucky delegates were on that committee. According to Representative Mann’s exposition before the house of representatives, pepper is made from tapioca. If thfe pepper makers entirely had depleted the tapioca pudding market in their fake manufacture, I might have forgiven them. As it is, up and at ’em, friends of the pure food bill! The beautiful, abundant golden hair of his rtenographer greatly appealed to a Chicago business man until a day or two ago. When the thermometer leached 92 in the shade, she calmly took off the most of her golden crown and placidly laid it beside her on her desk. The boss is wondering how much more of her attractiveness is detachable. A New York woman lost a $50,000 diamond in the grass. (No, she wa-s not an actress.) She offered a reward of SI,OOO and four boys with dark lanterns successfully hunted for the lost gem. When the rays of the light struck the stone, it sparkled and disclosed its hiding place. The boys got the money. Gee, this was just like finding it!