Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 14, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 July 1906 — Cinders. [ARTICLE]

Cinders.

When others scoff, the husband often believes his wife's story. He has to, or fight.

“To stop a sneeze, press your finger on your upper lip a little below your right nostril and count 30,’’ says an authority. 1 suppose said authority means “count 30 cents.” At any rate 30 cents is not to be sneezed at. It is easy to remember the Maine, but I wonder where in time 1 put the oiler for the lawn mower last fall? Sentence by Johnny using the word "toward”: “Yesterday 1 slid off our kitchen roof, caught on a nail and toward my trousers!” "Sprigs of Wintergreen will drive away red ants,” says an exchange. Those having ants will act accordingly. My wife says she will just die if she doesn't go to Europe this year, and I am sort of up against it. If she don’t go, expenses will be heavy and if I save her life 1 am entitled to a Carnegie medal. As long tis 1 have to spend money, anyhow. I guess I’ll be a hero.

The man sat nn tire steamer’s deck, His head was all >l-whirl. Her arms were clasped about his neck And his ware full of gill! Weather rejwirt: Warmer —next August. Ouch! Lemme alone! A Chicago girl wrote her best beau: “1 am dead,” rushed toward the lake, slid over the breakwater, caught on a sliver and was saved! It never pays to jump at conclusions like that. Mrs. Jones calls her baby “Coftee" because it keeps her awake nights. According to a Minnesota paper the farmers of that community “are much alarmed over hog cholera.” I presume the hogs are disgruntled, too.