Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 June 1906 — HUMOR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HUMOR

NEEDED INSTRUCTIONS. Verdict Was Forthcoming Whew This One Point Was Settled. It was a plain, straight case of highway robbery, and the judge charged the jury that they could only bring in a verdict of guilty. .They went out, and three hours passed. Then they came straggling in, and the foreman announced that they couldn’t agree. “What!” exclaimed his honor, “You can’t agree on as plain a case as this?” “Sorry to say we can’t, jedge.” “Then you must be a passel of Idiots. Do you doubt that the plaintiff was riding.along the Blue Hill road on the duy sworn toU “Not at all.” “Do you doubt that Joe Slmson was hiding in the brush?” “Not a doubt.” “Didn’t he spring out and hold the plaintiff up?” “He sartlnly did.” “Didn’t he afterward ride the plaintiff’s horse Into Red Valley and spend some of the money?” “Fur shore!" “Then what In blazes ails ye that ye can’t agree?” “It’s this way, jedge. If we bring in a verdict of guilty Joe will git about five years, won’t he?” “All of that and mebbe more." “Then the question comes up as .to who is to have his boss and guns. We can agree on his guilt, but It’s the other thing we are jawin’ about.” “Waal, I kin settle that pint for ye purty mighty quick. His boss Is In my stable and will stay thar, and his guns are In my desk and can’t tie tooken away. Now, then, hump yourselves and bring in a verdict of guilty.” The point of contention having been settled, the Jury humped, and the case was quickly disposed of.—Cleveland Leader.