Jasper County Democrat, Volume 9, Number 10, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 June 1906 — LITTLE VISITS WITH "UNCLE BY" [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

LITTLE VISITS WITH "UNCLE BY"

Swiminin’ Time. When buttercups hez blossomed out and all th’ birds is hymning, Why, that’s a sign t’ shuck yer shirt—lt’s time t’ go In swimming. Just come along, you city slo>v and torpid liver, And I will wash away yer ills a-swimmln' In the river! 6 We’ll gii a hack at Hlck'ry Crick an’ all pile In together . And drive about, say seven miles, through June-tideß balmy weather — Out past th' bayou and th’ Kun where kingbirds is a-calling, Clean out beyond th’ country town t’ where Hi' cows is bawling, Along th' river we will wind where riffles Is a running, And snappln’ turtles on th’ logs tlielr hardshell backs Is sunning. Above us in th’azure sky a fisher-hawk is sailing. And n um a dump of bushes there a kittlebird is waning. A young call bleats and waves his tall straight upward as lie scampers, ..Afid by. _tic j:o, m <_■ gio ws oals Jthersu break lasted sonic campers. tslefck porkers wallow in their pens and eye their ohspring proudly, Fathi roosters crow, tn peacocks call and shepherd dogs bark loudly. Nutv in tn sun, now in th' shade, w e travel through mi Euen And let our eyes jist toiler on Where fragrant odor s leadin’. Ah' then we tome t' Southard’s Mills, Where Hows tn’ placid Cedar— File out, you louts, an snuck yer coats an’ ! loner oil yer leader. Jup>t down behind in snck’ry dam well Step llilew th wuleis At' there < bmpiei< o«r twilight" act ter entrance to tn uiilers. Alw one by onu you wiuk th' dam t’ where the plank i.» slupy At' then, oy jn.g, you slide right down t' where th waters soapy! Kight down tn slipp'ry dam you slide ayellin Just Jiae thunder; You strike to wmupooi with a spank, an' course you go light under! Th' current uuosis you i tu tup; th’ whirlpool sort 01 nanuy J list buoys you on and rolls you up right wherein hank is sandy! An' When you one t gn straightened out, you leel like you was twenty— With wuoop aim cry you slide an' dive until you ve got

Then Jump intew your clothes ag'in, your cuticule just glowing, Th’ citel nez mown tn umnur horn an' we must soon be going. Flat uuwn upon Hi grassy bank on some side hill Inal s siopin , We ll sit and eat ami eat and eat until we most bust open. • • • 1 guess that nowhere in th' world is sich line toiiits handy As them you Una near lliek’ry Crick when swlmmin s line and dandy! Spring Sprinkles. A Chicago brewery brewed 30,000 more kegs of beer this year than last. Roads are evidently bad -tor the water wagon. Some men aT< v always shorF bi money, so short In fact that financial ly Hie soles of thi-iitshoes are rubbing blisters on the underside of their bald spots. Never judge a man by his actions an hour after he has been eating boikd cabbage. Pt' is.who send manuscript to maga zine should remember it is more import. at to inclose stamps than poetry. A literary magazine tells of a novelist who "wrote three stories in one night, then walked out an op- n window and fell fouF A school magazine says: "The ed tor of this magazine will be ter;, pleased to hear-of the deaths of an; of the oil boys." Laying aside th< Inhuman delight of the editor. I hereby advise him of the death of B>r Bolt. "Oh, don’t you remember, dec. teacher, Ben Bolt?" J. M. Barrie, the author, says In sever works more than two hour., day. Trying i > think of what to write, the r>-st o f the time I suppose Rememb r the story oil Riley? All old la ly cornered him and said she tin der'-tood he got a dollar a word for everything lur wrote, Yes, ifJh<iam.’' responded Riley, somewhat tibashed, “I do. but some days 1 sit all day and can't think of a darned word.”

The man of good taste, the quiet dresser. is not always quiet, especially whin his collar button drops out of

his fingers and rolls under the tires ■ You can hear’ him four blocks awa calling for his wife to come and he]; hunt the blamed tiling.