Jasper County Democrat, Volume 8, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 July 1905 — Musings of a Mere Man. [ARTICLE]

Musings of a Mere Man.

Poets are born, but grass widows are made to order. Matrimonial bonds are always a source of revenue—to the minister. The happiest day in some men’s lives is the day before their marriage.

A father should always be known by the company his daughter keeps. The girl who dosen’t try to conceal her age is too young to go into society, A man never knows his real value until some woman sues him for breach of promise. The purchasing power of a woman’s tears often exceeds that of a S2O gold piece. Love and war go hand in hand. Even the din of battle has a sort of engagement ring. If a man is a good listener a woman considers him an entertaining conversationalist. The man who is bound to get married is very seldom satisfied with the binding he gets. A good wife may lead a man heavenward, but a bad one is apt to drive him in the opposite direction. Beauty would be more than skin deep if the average woman’s complexion complexion could be injured in the deal. In India when a man dies his widow is burned at the stake. In America the widow takes another husband and roasts him. Many a man whose marriage was the result of love at first sight—wishes that he had been blessed with the gift of second sight.