Jasper County Democrat, Volume 8, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 July 1905 — HUMOR OF THE HOUR [ARTICLE]

HUMOR OF THE HOUR

Am UsfortWMMto Soleotloa. “You say the prisoner was singing. Did you notice the song?” “Yes, your honor. He repeated ft so many times that it impressed itself upon my memory. It was something about a daffydil.” “A new song?” “I had never beard it before, your honor. It was a sentimental song, something In the popular line. No doubt your honor knows the sort” “Perhaps I do. Can you sing It, officer?’’ “I can make the attempt, your honor. The air Is simple, but the words are a trifle hard. Do you want me to sing it, sir?” “Yes. Silence in the court,” “One moment, your honor. Will your honor kindly recollect that the prisoner was Intoxicated at the time and that it was not altogether easy to catch the exact words?”

“Proceed with the song.” “Yes, your honor. It was like this: ‘By sha-ty nook an’ guggling rill I, sawed for thee, my daffydil. I bat my heart, bees till, bees till, an’ cried all-oud for daffydil—oh, daffydil, my daffydil. I love thee still an’ ever will. The days sat go are all so slow.'T mix see zo, my daffydil,’ etc.” “You say die prisoner sang that?” “Yes, your honor.” “Six months at hard labor. Next case.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ouly One Who Did. Cfrayce— I don’t see why you picked out such a fellow as George to marry. You know dozens of better looking, brainier and richer men. Gladys—That’s very true. Grayce—Then why are you going to marry George? Gladys—Simply because he has asked me to, my dear. Louisville CourierJournal. Aaaiated Hi* Own Defeat. “Home, my dear, Is that certain place wherever two people of opposite sex can make themselves happy,” said be as a clincher. “How convenient!” exclaimed she, brightening up suddenly. “I hope It does not matter to you, but I have decided to live with my father.”—Cincihnatl Commercial Tribune.

“It strikes me ss Strange that a millionaire’s son should believe tn an equal distribution of wealth?’

"He haa six brothers and sisters, and only by an equal distribution can be get his share.”—Houston Post Not Informed. "Didn't you advertise ‘no mosquitoes?’” asked the indignant guest. “Yes,” answered the summer landlord, "but I guess the mosquitoes didn’t read the advertisement.”—Washington Star. Paradiso la Advaaoe. "The man died eating watermelons,” sone one said to Brother Dickey. "Yes, sub,” he replied, "sometimes Providence puts us in paradise ’fo’ we gits ter heaven!”—Atlanta Constitution. Practical. “Never mind your poverty, darling. Ours will be the old story of love in a cottage.” “Yes, but who’s going to supply the cottage?”—Brooklyn Life.