Jasper County Democrat, Volume 8, Number 11, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 June 1905 — Philosophy of a Pessimist. [ARTICLE]

Philosophy of a Pessimist.

Lots of political big guns are nothing but air guns. When a woman flies into a passion it’s time to dip her wings. The trouble with folks who know but little is, they always tell more. Wine is a mocker—and the label on the bottle is usually a mockery. A girl who can't sing seldom finds it out until after everybody else does. Most women reason in a circle; that’s why there is no end to their arguments. Any woman who can’t held her tongue or a baby has no business with either. It’s simply impossible to suppress the man who imagines he can tell a funny story. When you are in trouble most people who call to sympathize are only after the particulars. The women who runs after a husband till Bhe gets one seldom has occasion to boast of her catch. About half the time when a woman does bit the nail on the head she drives it in the wrong place. Women will never be paid as much for lecturing as men because they do too much of it for nothing. Some of the would-be actors who want to go on the stage should take the fast express; it would get them home quicker. People often talk of breaking the ice, but it would require a powerful fight of the imagination to even think of breaking the iceman.