Jasper County Democrat, Volume 7, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 March 1905 — PHILOSOPHER DOOLEY. [ARTICLE]

PHILOSOPHER DOOLEY.

Here is a bit of Dooley’s philosophy that is delightfully appropriate: Dooley in his little saloon was busy making out a list. Casey came in and said: “Phat ar ye doin,’ Dooley?” “I’m makin, a list of the min in this town I can lick.” Said Casey, “Is me own name on the list?” “It is,” says Dooley.” And have ye got Finnegan’s name on it?” Dooley looked over and said, “sure and I have.” | Hereupon Casey left and proceeded to find Finnegan, to whom he told of the work of Dooley. “I’ll see him” said Finnegan. And he did. “Ye’ve got a list, I hear of the min you can lick,” “I have,” says Dooley. “And my name is on it?” says Finnegan. “It is” says Dooley. “Well,” says Finnegan, “I can lick you an’ your daddy and your two brothers in half an hour.” “Ye kin, kin ye?” says Dooley. “Yes, I kin, kin I!” says Finnegan. And Dooley looked up and said: | “Well, thin, I’ll scratch your name off the list.” An armload of old papers for a nickel at The Democrat office.