Jasper County Democrat, Volume 7, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 December 1904 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]
Mr. Carnegie does not sign notes, he merely hands out the' cash. In response to unkind criticism, 'Wall Street asks what suckers are made for anyway? General Stoessel doesn’t know what the Japs can do, nor does he seem anxious to find out.
It appears that Utah is willing to take a “cure” for plural marriages, but she wants a slow one.
The Baltimore Sun thinks that Gov. Vardaman and the bool-we-vil ought to be allowed to fight it out. It is reported that the German Emperor is writing opera music. How would you like to be the critic for him? N It took but little water to break that Kentucky drought, but no Kentucky gentlfman drinks much water, anyway. The Southern bankers and merchants have decided to stand together—later they may decide to “stand pat also.” The democrats made a clean sweep in Boston’s municipal election. This appears to be sort of a consolation prize. The Cotton planters are urging Secretary Wilson to send 300,000,000 red ants down there to feed the boll-wevils on.
If this thing keeps up any longer, Mr. Carnegie will have to stop giving away libraries and endow a few struggling banks.
It is reported that* Wall Street bankers are taking out accident insurance policies against Tom Lawson and Mrs. Chadwick.
Affairs in Wall Street have been severely shaken up, bnt not to turn Pierpont Morgan’s nose from red to “blue.”
The farmers were much disappointed because the “bycicle” didn’t bring good roads; but have increased confidence in the automobile.
President Harper of Chicago University hung his stocking up a little early this year, but Old Santa-rd Oil dropped three millions in it.
As Mr. Rockafeller didn’t become acquainted with Mrs. Chadwick, he was able to give away a $3,000,000 Christmas present to hie University.
It is quite d* puzzle to the railroad magnates to understand what the Inter-State Commerce means by setting squarely out in the “strennons life.”
An astronomer at Michigan University has discovered that the moon has a big crack in it. We are afraid that he meant his •‘statement,” instead. >
The tariff-revisionists and standpatters are both claiming a victory. The revisionists have won, bat the stand-patters are to name the “day” of revision. Illinois is the largest whiskey producing State in the anion, yet it oast the largest vote of any State for the prohibition candidate. The fact that his name was “Swallow” may have had something to do with it. -■ ' mmITtiTT