Jasper County Democrat, Volume 7, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 August 1904 — The Crimson Visioned Cow [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Crimson Visioned Cow

By EDWIN J. WEBSTER.

Middleton is a great believer In the Influence of mind over matter, but tie Is doubtful bow far his theories may be applied to farming—at least .where cows are concerned. When the family moved to the suburbs Middleton determined to keep a cow. Everything went well until winter set in, when the cow, after the manner of her kind, did not give the accustomed supply of milk. This conduct of the cow’s Jarred upon Middleton’s business instincts. He considered It pure laziness. The tousled headed boy whom he had hired to look after the cow explained that It wasn’t bad beartedness on the part of the cow, t>ut a lack of grass, that was responsible for the decrease in the Middleton milk supply. “But she has plenty of hay," Middleton objected. "And bay is just as nourishing as grass.” “It ain’t so green, do,” persisted the tousled one. “Dere’s mighty few t’lngs so green as grass. Do dere la some,” he added reflectively. Middleton took this last remark as a reflection on his own knowledge of farming. Bo be Indignantly ordered

the tousled boy to leave the barn. The boy slouched sulkily away, black wrath In his heart. But the boy’s remark had suggested an idea to Middleton. “It’s all Imagination on the part of that cow to think hay Is not ns good as grass. If she supposed she was eating gruss she would give ns much milk ns before, even if her food supply happened really to be hay.” "She may be a credulous cow,” replied Mrs. Middleton in doubtful tones. "But how even your flow of persuasive words can make her believe hay Is grass is more than I can see.” But Mrs. Middleton’s incredulity did not decrease her husband’s ardor in bis plan for revolutionizing dairy farming. The next morning Middleton went to an optician and left an ©rder for an unusually large pair of plain green glass spectacles. In the afternoon, gloating oyer his scheme for au increased milk supply, he marched triumphantly out to the barn. The cow didn't seem to understand why she should wear spectacles, as she bad never made any complaint of failing eyesight. But after a little she became somewhat reconciled to them. Middleton kicked around some hay, so that it would look like grass though •n the floor of the barn. Then he went back to the house to explain more fully to Mrs. Middleton the benefits which would accrue from his idea. About an hour later the tousled headed boy entered the barn. The cow was eating the hay, but she certainly was a much puzzled animal. Her eyesight showed that it was green and. it looked like grass, but it was dry

and didn’t in t&e (east taste like grass. Now the tousled headed boy still cherished feelings of wrath. When be saw the spectacles on the cow he gasped with amazement “Blamed If dat guy ain’t put glasses on dat cow to make her tlnk she is eating gran,” he murmured. Just then he happened to slip his hand into one of his trousers pockets. Ambng the usual treasures stowed away In a boy’s pockets his fingers touched two pieces of glass. He drew them out. They were red and round and with a little trouble might be fitted Into the rims of the spectacles the cow was wearing. And into the mind of the tousled one crept a suggestion of how he might have revenge on Middleton and a l'lttle fun on his own account. “Cows ain’t so fierce as bulls,” thought the tousled one. “But dey don’t like red a bit better.” He took the spectacles from the cow’s nose, pushed out the green glasses and Inserted the red ones. He replaced the red glassed spectacles. Then he hastily climbed Into the haymow and awaited developments. When the crimson spectacles were adjusted the cow’s peace of mind instantly vanished. To the right, left, and In front was to be seen only the hated color, red. Her wrath was stirred. She made a charge at the crimson haymow. The only result was that she was thrown back, bruised and baffled. She glanced around In anxiety and terror, only to find that all the objects In the once familiar barn were the same odious color. Then she be gan a mad rush about the barn, mooing with all the force of her lungs. The tumult aroused Middleton, who ran from the house and threw open the barn door. But when the cow saw • crimson man standing in the doorway her terror changed to wrath. Plainly here was the cause of all her troubles. She made a chad charge at Middleton. He side stepped with an agility which would have surprised his business acquaintances. The cow was unable to stop and thundered through the doorway. There she turned and prepared for a second charge. Just as Middleton was planning precipitate flight an unusually angry and vehement shake of the cow's head shook off the glasses. Things once more resumed their natural color. The cow stood for a moment bewildered at the sudden change in her field of vision, then began to walk slowly back to the barn. Middleton saw that, her rage was over, but was puzzled to account for it at all. “Green is the color of a good part of the earth in summer time,” he mused. "I don’t see why green spectacles should affect a cow with sudden insanity.” Then he saw the spectacles lying on the ground. He picked them Up. As he did so he noticed the red glasses. He understood what had happened. “That young rascal must have changed the glasses. If I catch him I’ll give him a lesson on the evils of interfering with experiments in scientific farming that he'll remember the rest of his life.” The tousled headed boy, hidden in the haymow, wisely gave no indication of his whereabouts. Middleton adjusted the green glasses and tried to replace them on the cow. But that particular cow had had all she cared for of spectacles of any sort, whether provided with red or green glasses. She shook her head in such a threatening manner that Middleton finally abandoned the attempt. “A scientific experiment that might have made a revolution in dairy farming spoiled by the malice of a redheaded boy,” he sighed as he trudged back to the house.

SHE TURNED AND PREPARED FOR A SECOND CHARGE.