Jasper County Democrat, Volume 7, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 June 1904 — HUMOR OF THE HOUR [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

HUMOR OF THE HOUR

lilh Por Sapper. “We had a fish supper down to our house the other evening,” said Snaggsby, filling another pipe. He meant his boarding house. “The landlady in a burst of generosity, for which I am still at a loss to account.” he continued, “had announced that each boarder could give notice of the particular kind of fish that he wanted. The result was interesting. Polly, the typewriter, wanted a perch. The negro waiter asked the cook for a black bass. A traveling preacher who happened to be there wanted a sole. An old maid who is fond of kittens wanted a catfish, and Dlggsby. who likes dogs, wanted a dogfish, of course. Isaacs, the pawnbroker, wanted a shark, anfr Jenkins, the street fakir, asked for a sucker. Mr. and Mrs. Smythe wanted a sunflsh. Dick, who is a member of the boat club, wanted some roe. “The landlady’s husband, who is an old soldier, said if he couldn’t get a gar he would be satisfied with a plaice. Dottle Dimpleton, the soubrette, was anxious for a lobster. Billy, the landlady’s youngest, said that he would wait till he went to bed, and when he said his prayers he would take au eel. He said that just for a cod.”—New York Tribune. Helping Him.

Suitably Punished. “He’s always in a row.” said the policeman. “It’s the fifth time he's been brought in for fighting.” ‘What’s the matter with you?” demanded the Justice. “Why, judge,” replied the prisoner, “I Just got to be hitting something all the time. I'm built that way.” “Have you got a punching bag in the squad room?” asked the justice. “Sure!” replied the policeman. “His sentence,” said the justice, “is thirty days. Turn him loose at the

punching bag with his bare knuckles. For every minute that he keeps steadily at It take a day off the sentence, and for every minute or fraction of a minute that he rests add a day. When he has worked out his sentence let him go.” Several hours later a weary man with bruised knuckles was carried away In a cab. He no longer had to be hitting something nil the time—in fact, the joy of not having to be hitting something was sublime.—Chicago Post Keep the Mouth Shut. Keep the mouth shut. This peremptory command is to Insure proper breathing—that Is, breathing through the nose. One should never unless absolutely necessary breathe through the mouth. It is the duty of the nose, and It was made for that express purpose and is specially constructed to aid correct breathing. In the first place, It Is .grpvided with tiny hairs that trap dust and Impurities that may be In the air and prevent their Invading the system. The nose has also what are known as turbinated bones. These act as warming pistes to temper the air as It is Inhaled. It is further provided with an apparatus for furnishing moisture to the air. All these processes are quite essential before the air Is drawn Into the lungs, and If the breath Is drawn through the mouth many of these essentials are lost. It is an excellent plan to take a good brisk walk every morning and to compel oneself to breathe through the nose all the time. This Is a first rate hygienic practice. At first it may be difficult to do so, but It is wotth persisting in, and “practice makes perfect.”

He—Can you give me any hope? She —Well, I’ll promise not to tell father about your proposal.