Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 March 1904 — Page 2

g )aracamph Relieve! Instantly or Money Refunded. Muscular Rheumatism Sore Muscles, Sore Joints and Neuralgia. The only External Remedy which will Sweat Out the Fever and Inflammation. Sold only to 35c., 50c. a sl-00 Bottles. At»UgoodPrilggjgfc_ FOR SALE BY B. F. FENDIG, (DRUGGIST.

THE FIRST NATIONAL BANK North Side of Public Square RENSSELAER, ■ INDIANA. Loans Money on all kinds of Good So- DIRECTORS, curlty, on CITY PROPERTY and on A. PorkUon, FARMS at Lowest Rates. Pays Interest Johnlvl WMMm on Savings, Pays Taxes and Makes In- Vice-President, vestments for customers and others and James T. Randle, sol cits Personal Interviews, with a view <j e o. E. Hurray, to Business, promising every favor con- e. l. Hollingsworth, slstent with Safe Banking. Caahler. | FARfI LOANS A SPECIALTY, j

itelmawima We have anything you want in the Buiding line; we are selling about one carload of Lumber per day which speaks well for our grades and our prices, and you can’t afford to buy elsewhere : : : : it h mm

rum supply EIM THE YEAR 1904 finds us with a complete Farmers Supply Store. Our grocery department is filled with a complete new stock of fresh goods. Our dry goods department is complete with good line of staple goods. Our farm implement department is also complete. Can furnish you with everything a farmer needs on a farm. We have the largest and best selection of good farm and driving horses in Northern Indiana. Everyone has a chance to try the horse before he takes it away. If he isn’t right, don’t take him; try another until you are satisfied, It is satisfied customers we want. Our buggy department is the largest and most complete that you can find. Our buggies are > bought right and sold right. We will sell you a cheap buggy or a good one. We will tell you just what you are buying. We want you to get value received for every dollar you spend with us. It is satisfied customers we want. Remember we sell for cash and on time, but not on open account. Come and see us, if you don’t buy, for we will then become acquainted. But remember our business is to sell goods and lots of them. fan M liiltisi PARR - IND. W. L. Wood, Proprietor.

BIOGRAPHIES WANTED

By CYRUS DERICKSON

* ...Copyright, 1908, by T. C. McClure... * The Be bee Settlement was so called because so many farmers of that name, and all related, had settled there. It was at peace with all mankind and the farmers hoeing their corn when something like a cloudburst happened. A stranger arrived at the bouse of Silas Be bet; and sat down to a boiled dinner with him and afterward held a long and Interesting conversation. Mr. Graves, as the stranger gave bis name, was one of the partners in a big publishing house which made a specialty of publishing the biographies of the old and eminent families of America. The name of Be bee, as be had discovered by long and patient research, dated back to the year 900 and had been borne by princes, dukes, counts, barons, poets and soldiers. Wbat Mr. Graves wanted was to bring the Be bee biography down to Silas and let the world know that the family was still on tap and as eminent as In days of yore. He wanted to fill at least ten pages of the gilt backed book he was getting out with the sayings and doings of Silas, while the eleventh page should be taken up with a full length portrait of the sturdy old farmer. The biography and the portrait would be free, but in order to cover the cost of the glue and the stitching Silas would have to come down with $25 In cash. “I don’t think I’ll trade,” was the reply when the caller had stated his case. Mr. Graves seemed to have prepared himself for just such an answer, and he turned away with:

“Very well, Mr. Bebee. As you are the most prominent of the family, I naturally came to you first, but as you don’t care for the honors I shall go to Reuben. I think he will jump at the opportunity, being as he wants to be elected county supervisor next year. Good day, Mr. Bebee.” There wasn’t a feeling of brotherly love between Silas and Reuben. Both wanted to “run things,” and naturally that brought about a clash. Silas had some thoughts of running for county supervisor himself, and It was news to him and news he did not like that Reuben was planning to mix In. He did some rapid thinking. Mr. Graves had not climbed into his buggy when he was called back and a bargain conclud-

“BY GUM, I ALWAYS KNEW SILAS BEBEE WAS A SNEAK.”

ed. The rest of the afternoon and all the evening were spent In listening to Silas Bebee’s history, covering a period of some fifty-six years. Mr. Graves made copious notes and nodded his bead from time to time, and all went well with the story. Bedtime had come, and Silas had given in sufficient matter for his ten pages when his wife, who had all along been doing a heap of thinking, rose and inquired: “Silas, am I to be left out of this thing as if I didn’t amount to shucks? If I haven’t helped you to be the biggest toad in the puddle, who has?” “They never say. anything in books about big women, do they?” he asked of Mr. Graves. “Well, very seldom,” was the reply. “I believe they have mentioned Cleopatra and one or two others, but those were excepUonal cases. Still, as your wife says”— The result was that Mrs. Silas Be bee was given three pages and a portrait In the book, all for the sum of $8 cash in advance, and the clock had struck midnight before she got through telling how often she had had rheumatism, hysterics and bronchitis and how many yards of rag carpet and barrels of soft soap she had made during her married life. There was a son in the family named Joe. He had nothing to say that evening, but he got up next morning to claim his rights. As the son of Bebee and the biggest Be bee of them all, he wanted to be known of men, and it was finally decided that be should have two pages and a portrait for $5. It was dog cheap, and Mr. Graves would lose money on it; but he had started out to see the Bebee family through and must do it even if he went broke. It took him three days to get through with the family, during which he had free board and lodgings as a matter of course, and then he beaded for the house of Reuben. It was understood that he must call there to ask Reuben his exact age, but he moat not go beyond that Reuben was

in the cornfield with his hoe, and he leaned against the fence and heard what the publisher bad to say and then replied: ••By gum, but I always knowed Silas Bebee was a sneak, and now it's proved! He wants folks to think he’s the big Bebee, does be? Wants the world to believe that all the other Bebees stand around and look at him with their mouths open? Waal, I’ll bust up bis little circus for him!” Mr. Graves had struck a good thing, and he was the man to push 1L Reuben wanted more pages than Silas had. His sons wanted to spread out in a liberal manner, and Mr. Graves fixed matters to suit them and himself. He had free board and lodgings for four days and departed with cash enough to buy a fur lined overcoat for the next winter. In honor bound, as he informed Reuben, be must call ou Salathiel Bebee, but only to make sure whether his grandfather was bitten by a mad dog In the state of Ohio or Michigan. He called. Salatbiel was uprooting the pigweeds which had crept into his garden, and when Mr. Graves had explained the biography business to him he straightened up and said: “You kin pass right on. I ain’t buyin’ no gold bricks today.” But Mr. Graves didn’t pass. He showed the contracts entered into with Silas and Reuben, and he added the remark that it was too bad there were only two eminent families of Bebees. Then Salathlel struck the trunk of a cherry tree with his fist and exclaimed:

“By John Rodgers, but the Idea of them Bebees passin’ themselves off the smartest and best in America! They do know how to farm, and I won’t go for to deny it, but as for bein’ big guns they ain't knee high. I’m no hand to brag, but If I don’t lay over Sile and Reube every day In the week then you kin kick me clear across the barnyard.” The rest was easy, of course. There were Salathlel, his wife and two sons and two daughters, and all had to go into that book regardless of space or cost Mr. Graves was not an impetuous man, and he took his time writing out his notes and managed to get five days’ free board and lodgings. Then he departed to “work” Moses, Abraham, Joab, Peter, Paul and several other Bebees, securing victims in each and every family and in one instance taking in everything from the grandmother down to the Infant in the cradle. He put in a full month at his work, and he had the best beds and the best meals. After his coming the Bebees no longer neighbored, and they passed each other with their heads held high and their noses turned up. In one or two cases the young men came to blows, and lawsuits were started over old matters. Things were edging along toward a grievous state of affairs when Mr. Graves and his notes and his money departed, and three days later a detective arrived in search of him and exposed him as a swindler. The Bebees didn’t want to and couldn't believe it at first, but the evidence submitted was too strong for them to stand against, and after a due amount of weeping and wailing and swearing a meeting of all the families was held, and It was unanimously “Resolved, That while the Bebees date back to the year 900 this year saw the whole dura caboodle making fools of themselves without reason or excuse, and we won’t do it again.”

Dashed to Earth Again.

“It’s real interesting to read about these folks that lived in mythological times,” said Mr. Cobb as he put a slip of paper in his library book and shut it carefully. “Seems as if 9 o’clock came quicker than ever I knew it to before.” Mrs. Cobb was putting a large patch on one elbow of her waist, and she held it close to the lamp in what seemed to her husband an ostentatious way. He turned sidewise in his chair to avoid the view. “There was that feller Atlas,” he said, musing. “He was strong beyond anything that we have nowadays. Why, he supported the heavens on his head and hands; held ’em up in place till they got kind of set I Judge. What muscle such a man as that must have had!” And Mr. Cobb doubled his right fist and brought it up to his shoulder while the fingers of his left hand felt his arm with apparent satisfaction. “What an appetite he must have had!” said Mrs. Cobb tartly. “And while he was supporting the heavens—work the Lord could have done without any of his help—l’ll risk but what his wife was supporting him! And tomorrow I guess your cold ’ll be well enough so you can go over to the squire’s and begin on that wood they want chopped and piled."

A Salvini Incident.

The late Alexander Salvlni was once playing Hamlet In a small Wisconsin town. The theater was the crudest of structures, and the stage had been contrived for the occasion by the simple device of elevating a platform on four posts. When the gravedigging scene was reached a draft of cold air blew up through the aperture In the stage and not only caused the gravediggers’ teeth to chatter, but played freaks with their garments. Salvtnl, entering with Horatio, heard from the grave only a strange jumble of words bitten in pieces by the first clown’s clicking teeth. But when he saw the loose garments of the workmen flapping Jocularly in the breeze the irrelevant sight was too much for him, and laughter checked his speech. He tried to say, “Has this fellow no feeling of his business that be sings at gravemaking?’’ but he had to turn his face away from the audience and laugh, while the gravediggers carried tiie scene along with much fuss of occupation with pick and spade till Hamlet had recovered his gravity.

MARSH LANDS DRAINED.

READY FOR THE PLOW. I am prepared to sell the richest soil in the United States, drained, Irrigated and ready for the plow, in tracts to suit the purchaser, at an exceedingly low price. The title is perfect, the drainage system adequate, and if irrigation is desired, it is inexpensive. Not a dollar need he paid to us until the land is ready for occupancy. Liberal terms of payment can be arranged. The land is situated forty-five miles west of the City of New Orleans on the Southern Pacific Railroad, in a community of Northern farmers, and is suitable for the cultivation of any crop raised In the South. For centuries this land has been known as Marsh Land and the drainage of It was considered a very difllcult problem. B?it the Government dam recently constructed at the source of the Bayou La Fourche, has reduced the flow of water in the Bayou to a point which has made the drainage of the land a very simple problem. For over rixty years, land in this immediate vicinity has been in a high state of cultivation. Fine roads are maintained and the residents have all the advantages of the old and more thickly settled portions of the country. There is no better soil in the United States for the cultivation of corn, rice, cotton, sugar cane, alfalfa, onions, potatoes and garden vegetables. I am selling this land, drained ready for the plow, with facilities for irrigation if desired. No better investment than fertile, productive real estate can be found. The low price asked for this land, gives the purchaser an opportunity of making an immediate profit on his investment. It gives him the opportunity of securing a desirable home and at the same time an Investment which will Increase in value tenfold within five years. For maps and terms, address

O. W. CHAWFORD,

501 Carleton Building, St. Louis. Mo

Heredltary Diplomacy.

Elizabeth's father has a name that is a synonym for diplomacy. The little girl was immensely fond of an aunt whose object in life was to embroider. The bright silks pleased the child, and ■he would sit quietly for a long time perched on the arm of the big chair her aunt affected, watching the needle go in and out of the linen. One day she had a little cousin visiting her. Although delighted with her guest, she was unable to tear herself away from the embroidery. At last her aunt said to her: “Elizabeth, it is very rude for you to leave your guests in this way. You must play with Kitty.” She immediately Jumped from the chair, ran over to where her cousin was playing with the dolls and said in the most polite manner: “Kitty, let us play I left town for the summer. Goodby, dear. I hope you'll have a lovely time on your vacation.” She then returned to her perch on the armchair perfectly satisfied. Her duty was over. Trustworthy. Little Bess (aged four)—Mamma, does you like candy? Mamma—No, dear. It always makes me sick. Little Bess—Well, I’m awful glad of It. You’re Just the woman I want to hold my candy while I dress dollie. The Boy That Langka. I know a funny little boy, The happiest ever born; His face Is like a beam of joy, Although his clothes are torn. I saw him tumble on his nose And waited for a groan. But how he laughed! Do you suppose He struck his funny ooneT There’s sunshine in each word he speaks; His laugh is something grand; Its ripples overrun his cheeks Like waves on snowy sand. He smiles the moment he awakes And till the day 1s done. The schoolroom for a Joke he takes; His lessons are but fun. No matter how the day may go. You cannot make him cry; He’s worth a dozen boys I know Who pout and mope and sigh. —Sunbeam.

One-sixth of the landowners in Grant Britain are women. Motors mad Dors. A humane automobillst has discovered a way by which to warn unsuspecting dogs of the approach of his vehicle. Instead of blowing his horn—he says that a motor horn means nothing to the average dog—he simply whistles as loudly as he can. At once the dog's attention is attracted, he looks up, sees the car and saves himself. More Riots. Disturbance* of striker* are not nearly as grave as an Individual disorder of the system. Overwork, loss of sleep, nervous tension will be followed by utter collapse, unless* reliable remedy is immediately employed. There’s nothing so efficient to core disorders of the Liver or Kidneys as Electric Bitters. It’s a wonderful tonic, and effective nervine and the greatest all aronnd medicine for run down systems. It dispels Nervousness, Rheumatism and Neuralgia and expels Malaria germs. Only 5Cc and satisfaction guaranteed by A. F. Long, Druggist.

t'in:iiij;uun*i Chicago to the Northwest, Indianapolis, Cincinnati and the South, Louisville, and French Lick Springs. Rensselaer Time-Table, In Effeot June 29,1903. South Bound. No. s—Louisville Mall, (daily) 10:55 a.m. No.33—lndianapolis Mall, (dally).. 2.01 p.m. No. 39—Milk acoomm., (daily). 6:15 p. m. No. B—Louisville Express, (dally).. 11:25 p.m. •No. 15—Local freight 2:40 p.m No.3l—Part Mail 4:49 a. m. North Bound. No. 4—Mall, (daily) 4:30 a. m* No. 40—Milk aocomm,, (daily) 7:31 a. m* No. 32—Fast Mail, (daily) 9:55 a. m* No. B—Mail and Express, (dally)... 3:30 p.m* •No. 30—Cin. to Chicago Tea. Mail.. 6:32 p.m* tNo. 3S-Cin. to Chicago 2:57 p.m. •No. 46—Local freight. 9:55 a.m. •Daily except Sunday. ISfinday only, * Hammond haa been made a regular atop for No. 30. No. 82 and 33 now atop at Cedar Lake. Frank J. Bud, G. P. A., \ W. H. McDokl, President and Gen. M’g’r, Chas. H. Rookwxll, Traffic M’g’r, OMIOAOO. W. H. Bkam, Agent. Renaaelaer.

Bell Phone 131. Lafayette Phone 379. WABASH Arrival and departure of trains from The Lafayette Passenger! Station Twerfth and Erie Streets In effect Sunday, January 8,0 a. m. GOING EABT. No. a. N. Y. and Boston Um, daily3:43 a.m No. 8. Buffalo Mail, daily 0:00 a.m No. 0. Mail and Express daily 8:53 a.m No. 4. Continental Llmltdd, dai1y..3:12 p.m No. 34. Alantic Express, daily 2:43 p.m No. 80. Lafayette Ac. ex Sunday ar.7:35 p.m JNo. 8. Not run bet. Ft. Wayne and Detroit GOING WEST. No. 51. Springfield Ac., ex. Sunday.o:3o a.m. No. 0. Kansas City Fast Mail daily.B:3s a.na No. 3. Western Express, dai1y....13:04 a.m No. 7. Mail and Express, daily 1:08 p.m No. 1. Continental Limited, daily.. 1:48 p.m No, 5. Fast Mail, daily 7:50 p.m No. 2, New York and Boston express, has through sleeper (buffet) St. Louis to Boston; also sleeper St. Louis to New York. Vestibuled free reclining chair car, St. Louis to Buffalo, and dining car, serving ail meals. No. 4, Continental Limited, daily, has through Pullman sleeper, St. Louis to New York aDd Boston. Coaches St. Louis to New York. Dining car serves all pieals. No. 0, Mail and Express, daily, has connection with sleeper at Detroit for New York and Boston via Lake Shore & Michigan Southern and New York Central R. R. No. 8. Through sleeper to New York, and chair car to Buffalo. No, 9 has sleeper and free reclining chair car to Kansas City. Does not handle baggage between Lafayette and Danville Junction. No. 1, Continental Limited, daily,same service as No. 4. Does not carry baggage for stations between Lafayette annDanville Junction. No. 3, St. Lonis Limited, daily, has sleeper (Pullman buffet) Boston and New York to St. Louis; also free reclining chair to St. Louis, and fit. Louis to Kansas City. No. 5, Fast Mail, Coach Toledo to St. Louis. Does not carry baggage. Ocean steamship tickets sold to all parts of the world. J. RAMSEY. Jr.. President. C. S. CRANE, Gen. Pass, and Ticket Agent. H. V. P. TAYLOR, Asst. Gen. Pass, and Tkt. Agent. St. Louis. Mo. THUS. FOLLEN, P. & T. A., Lafayette, Ind,

Manager,

Attention Farmers. Why remain in the North and stay indoors six months in the year consuming what you -aise during the other six months? Go South where you can work out dccfrs every month in the year, and where you are producing something the year rouhd. If you are a stock raiser you know your stock are now “eating their heads off" and, besides, have to be protected from the rigors of winter by expensive shelter, Economical stock feeding requires the combination of both flesh-forming and fat-forming „food in certain proportions. Alabama and Florida produce in abundance the velvet bean and cassava, the first a flesh producer, and the latter a fat producer, and they are the cheapest and best fattening materials known to the world. ' More money can be made and with less labor, in general farming, fruit and berry growing and truck gardening along our road in the South than in any other section of the Union. If you are interested and desire further information on the subject, address. G. A. PARK, Gen’l Immigration andSlndustrial Agent, > Louisville & Nashville R. R, Co.; Louisville, Ky, when in Chicago! ...STOP AT THE... New Northern Baths Hotel and Baths Combined. For Gentlemen Exelueively. ( Occupying entire building o/S et oriel ) Traveling men are assured every comfort end ettention. The mott complete end attractive establishment of its kind in the United States. Unrivaled accommoda- , tions at only SI.OO A Bed One Night at tide price—which is leas than the charge at first-class hotels —and a Turkish Bath thrown in. Baths—Turkish. Russian, Shower. Needle end Plunge—the most sumptuously appointed that yon can find anywhere. Raatanmat—On the European plan. A good chef and moderate rates. Room—Where you can rest and be thankful. Chiropody. Manicuring. ? OPEN ALL NIGHT. tTSeudfi, B~kUL HDH NEW NORTHERN Heaths s* hotel I 14Quincy SL. CHICAGO. Words’ English Stable Liniment 83g &SSMRJE&'£££ Sold by A. F. Leag-