Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 41, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 January 1904 — COME HOME, NEWTON; COME BACK TO MAMMA. [ARTICLE]

COME HOME, NEWTON; COME BACK TO MAMMA.

Newton county, in your hour of conflicting emotions, The Democrat suggests, as a means of “uniting'your different county seat factions, that you come back home; come back to mother Jasper, from whom you wandered in 1860. We’ve bouse (court house) enough for all (and it isn’t paid for, either, therefore we especially want you.) We can give you a 60 cent county tax levy in place of your 25 cent levy. We can show you a few stunts on county extravagance that you never dreamed of. We will kill the fatted calf (if by chance we happen to have one left at the county farm) and even let Tax-Ferret Workman “work’’ you for back taxes of your ancestors; yea, even for ten generations back. In fact, there’s scarcely a thing we won’t do for (to) you if you’ll only come back home —except let you hold office. The latter perogative is reserved for our ring. We are quite confident of “Honest Abe” giving his consent to your returning to the parental roof, for Abe is finding it more and more difficult to perpetuate himself in office here with a paltry republican majority of only 600 in his favor, and your 700 majority will come in handy, you know. Won't you come home,young Newton? Won't you come home? We will double up your taxes and We’ll build your gravel roads; We’ll “work” you and we’ll “skin” you And we’ll “do” you to a turn—0, won’t you please come home?