Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 October 1903 — WHEN THE MINISTER COMES TO TEA. [ARTICLE]

WHEN THE MINISTER COMES TO TEA.

Oh! they’ve swept the parlor carpet, and they’ve dusted every chair. And they’ve (ot the tidies hangin' jest exactly on the square; And the whatnot’s fixed up lovely, and the mats have all been beat. And the pantry’s brltnmin’ over with the bally things ter eat. Sishaa got her Sunday dress on, and ahe's frizzin' up her bangs, Ma* got on her beat alpacky, and ahe’s askin' how it bangs, Pa has ahaved as slick as can be, and I'm rigged way up in G. And it’s all because we’re goin’ ter have the mlnieter tar tea. Oh! the table's fixed up gaudy with the giltedged Chiny set. And we’ll use the silver tea-pot and the company’s spoons, you bet; And we’re going to have some fruit-cake and some thimbleberry jam, And “riz biscuits” and some doughnuts, and some chicken and some ham. Ma, she’ll ’polergize like fury and say everything is bad, And “sich awful luck with cookin,” she is sure she never had; But, of course, she’s only bluffin', for it’s as prime as it can be, And she’s only talkin’ that way ’cause the minister’s ter tea. Bverybody’ll be a smilin’ and as good as ever wus. Pa won’t growl about the vittles, like he generally does, And he'll ask me would I like another piece er pie; but, sho! That, er coarse, is only manners, an’ I'm s’poaed ter answer “No.” Sis’ll talk shoot the church-work and about the Sunday-school, Ms’ll tell how she liked that sermon that was on the Golden Rule. And if I upset my tumbler they won’t say a word ter me; * Yes, a boy can eat in comfort with the minister ter tea! , Say! a minister, you'd reckon, never’d say what wasn't true; But that isn't so with ours, and I jest can prove it, too: ‘Cause when Sis plays on the organ so it ma.es yer want ter die. Why, h. sets and saya its lovely; and that aeems ter me’a a lie; But I like him all the aamey, and I only with he’d stay At our house for good and always, and eat with us every day; Only think of havin’ goodies every evenin’! Jimmlnee! And I’d never git a scoldin' with the minister ter tea!