Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 September 1903 — Page 7

Bqual to the Occasion.

An amusing illustration of the linguistic capability of the educated Chinaman comes from Berlin. When the Kaiser complimented the pew Chinese Minister on his excellent German, the Oriental replied: “I can •do better—l can speak the Berlin dialect. One day, during the occupation of Pekin, I encountered a number of your majesty’s soldiers, one of whom, thinking that I would not understand him, took the liberty to address me as follows: “ ‘Walt, you Chinese baggage—ls ever I catch you In the dark, I will twist your queue for you.’ “ ‘Shut up, you Berlin welss-bier pot,’ I replied, in his own vernacular, ‘or I will knock all your teeth Into your bread basket!' “Your majesty ought to have seep the soldiers’ faces,” concluded the minister. "If you yourself had addressed them at that moment without warning, they could not have been more astonished and frightened!”

Better Than Medicine.

His temples were beginning to be gray and he was old enough to have a folly developed case of dyspepsia. He looked at the slice of roast beef, and then tried to eat it, after whltfii be signaled to tbe waiter. “Here, take this back,” he said; "I can’t eat meat that’s roasted until It’s like a piece of leather. I told you I w anted It rare. Do you call this rare?’ "Young man,” replied the waiter, ’if I gave It to yon any rarer than that It would have to be raw. Look here. Yon can squeeze tbe blood out of it” After finishing a good, hearty meal the man with the dyspepsia handed the waiter a quarter as a "tip” and went out, saying to himself: “I wonder If ho called me ‘young man’ Just from force of habit or because he really meant It?”

A Boy's Victory.

Crossroads, Tenn., Sept. 14.—Orbra Young, the 10-year-old son of Lester Young, of this place, is a bright boy. and one who is very well liked by all who know him. For some years Orbra has suffered s great deal with a form of Kidney Trouble wblch was very annoying, and which made him miserable all the time. He had to get up three or four times every night, almost all his life. His father heard of a remedy called Dodd’s Kidney Pills, and bought some for the little fellow, with the result that he is now completely cured of the old trouble. He 6ays: "Dodd’s Kidney Pills soon gave me great relief, and now I can sleep all night without having to get up. We will always praise Dodd's Kidney Pills.” There are many children suffering from Kidney and Urinary troubles. These disorders should be promptly corrected. Dodd's Kidney Pills Is a safe and sure remedy for all such derangements. Master Orbra Young conqnered his troubles and made a well boy of himself, by using Dodd’s Kidney Pills, and any one may do tbe same by tbe same means. Parents should see to It that their children are given a fair chance in life, and there Is nothing that can undermine the health of a growing child as much as Kidney and Urinary derangements.

Habit.

“You can’t find a better climate than this,” said the friend. “Is it necessary for you to go away from heme to enjoy your vacation V’’ “Not absolutely,” answered the eonscientiousy worker, “but I’d rather pay the railway fare than run the risk of having my employer catch me loafing.” —Washington Star.

$1.00 BIG 500-POUND STEEL RANGE OFFER.

It you can use the best big 600-pound steel ranee made In tbe world, and are willing to have It pfaoed in your own home on three months' free trial, just cut this notice out and send It to se*bs, Rokbuck A Co., Chicago, and you will receive tree by return mail a big picture of the steel range and many other < ookiug and heating stoves, you w.li a'so receive the most wonderful Si. oo steel range offer, an offer that places the best steel range or heating stove in the home of nny family, such an offer that no family in the land, no matter what their ciroumstanoos stay be, or how email their Income, nee 1 be with* out the best cooking or heating stove made.

Too Much for Him.

“Who is that wild-eyed man in the padded cell?” asked the asylam visitor. “That.” replied the attendant, “is a hopeless case -who wrecked his wheels trying to figure out how much of s snake Is body and how much is tail. We are never without a bottle of Piso's Cure for Consumption in our house.— Mrs. B. M. Swayze, Wakita, Okis., April 17. 1901. Speaking generally, wild creatures inhabiting hot countries are more savage than those of cold or temperate countries. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color more goods, per package, than others. The manufacture of musical instruments occupies about 30,000 persons in Germany. The temperature of the positive carbon of an electric arc lamp is 8,490 degrees. Mrs. Winslows Soothibo Srmor tor Child™*

W. L. DOUGLAS •3.M&’3 SHOES IE Tea eu am from $S te $5 yearly by veering W. L. Doaglu $3.60 or $8 shoee. They equal those that hare been cost- y Ma ing you from $4.00 JB kj mense sale of W. L. He ___ fIS Douglas shoes proves UK their superiority over |EE7 -\gefc all other makes. f&M ml Sold by retail shoe “7 dealers everywhere. LS Look for name and price on bottom. Th»t Does las uses Cor- A. •ns Colt proses there U MwH/mw /Ik rslae In Doaslss shoes. AH>k, Corona Is the highest

RENOMINATED FOR MAYORALTY OF GREATER NEW YORK

SETH LOW.

Seth Low, renominated for Mayor of Greater New York, la now nearing the end of hi* first term In that office. He resigned the presidency of Columbia University in 1901 to make the campaign agalnnt Tammany and was elected by the non-partisan voters of the metropolis. Mr. Low was born in Brooklyn and began life in hia father’s importing house. He served for four years os Mayor of his native city. He is a scholar and educator of national fame.

FARMERS TO COMBINE.

Plane Perfected for • National Cooperative Association. Organization of the farmers of the country into a vast co-opera Uion association was successfully effected in the find meeting of the “advisory board” appointed by the convention which held e session in the Grand Pacific Hotel, Chicago. The board, which at present consists of six members, representing three societies devoted to the agricultural interests of different sections, will begin a recruiting campaign among other organizations of a similar character, planning to enlist every farmers’ society in the work. According to the motion under which the advi.iory board was appointed, each organization which throws its interest with the co-operative association is entitled, while maintaining its distinctive individuality and membership, to two representatives upon the central body, called for the present the “advisory board.” Since the announcement of this intention nine other organization in tbe middle West have applied for membership. The headquarers of the board will be In Chicago during tilde preliminary stage, and the work of enlisting the sympathy of the nation’s farmers with the movement will be continued, with Chicago as e center, until the first of December, at the opening of the annual live stock show, at which time every society which has manifested its intention of joining will send two delegates as members of the board. From this number an executive committee will bo elected which will take in hand the working out of tbe details of co-operation. Fifty farmers’ associations are expected to be allied to the' movement by that time. The avowed object of the association is to regulate distribution, placing this function in tbe hands of the farmers themselves instead of the “middlemen.” This will make necessary the construction of elevators and warehouses throughout the country. Discussion of capitalization, so that this would be possible, occupied much of the time of the convention. State representatives or correspondents have been appointed by the advisory board in every State In the country to assist in the task of enlisting the farmers aa individuals and the farmers’ associations in the movement.

AUTOS CAUSE DEATHS.

Two Killed and Nnmber Hurt at Detroit and Zaneerille. While an automobile was being driven at a terrific pace at the Ororse Points track in Detroit a tire burst and the car swerved into the fence, killing Frank Shearar of Barberton, Ohio. Barney Oldfield,, who waa driving the car, escaped by a miracle, as his machine was reduced to a mass of tangled iron and wood. That more people were not killed or maimed is a cause for wonder, as fully a score of onlookers were at that point watching the races. Just before Oldfield started in the last event it was noticed that the tires were exceedingly hot At the very start of the race he had trouble with his machine and lost a mile. It waa not thought that he would compete at all, bat suddenly he got his car going, and he mads after Cunningham at a terrific speed. While he had very little show of winning, he had succeeded in overtaking Cunningham when his tire exploded. At the Zanesville, Ohio, county fair an automobile driven by Dari Kiser of Dayton got beyond his control and dashed through the race track fence into the crowd, killing one and Injuring six persona. The accident was caused by the bursting of a front tire. Twenty feet of fence waa demolished and the spectators were thrown In every direction.

Interesting News Items.

Another large gas well has been completed at Pleasanton, Kan. A fire in the bnsinesa section of Foao, O. T., did damage estimated at $75,000. Philippines bonds amounting to $3,000,000 were sold in Washington at a premium of $1,024. The preliminary prise list, daseifioationa and rules and regulations governing the world’s fair live stock shows have been Issued.' It is reported that Charles M. Schwab has purchased a controlling interest ($800,000) in the Chicago Pneumatic Tool Company. The Comptroller of the Currency has authorized the First National Bank of Hamilton, Kan., to begin business with a capital of $25,000. While whirling a loaded revolver shoot his first finger, Harry Hamilton of Guthrie, O. T., was shot and kiled. It was supposed ttvat al the cartridges had bean removed from the weapon, hot open examination 'it was found that one hot boon loft In.

IN THE PUBLIC EYE

We have had a crown prince here and the brother of an Emperor, but we have never experienced the ineffable ecstasy

of having a real Sultan “in our midst.” However, we are not long to be without that pleasure, for the Sultan of Johore has announced that he will visit us in 1904 for the primary purpose of making a tour of the United States and incidentally “taking in” the St.

Louis world’s fair. The Sultan is the ruler of the remnants of the old Malay empire. He is. in fact, the only independent ruler in the Malay peninsula. He has been the Sultan for about five years. One of the results of recent events in Wall street is that the Bock Island system has in two years become the see-

B. F. YOAKUM.

Haute deals, Wall street has found time to wonder at the methods of President B. F. Yoakum of the ‘Frisco Railroad, when it is a question of buying railroads. Within two years the silent and self-con-tained man who directs the ’Frisco affairs has bought four railroads, and in' every case has begun and cloced the transaction within twenty-four hours.

Gen. Luke E. Wright, whom the President has appointed governor of the Philippines, to take office when Gov.

Taft becomes Secretary of War in January next, is now vice governor of the islands and a member of the Philipp i n.e commission Gen. Wright is 54 years of age, a *mitlve of Tennessee. He fought throughout the Civil War as a private in the Confederate army and ha* been a

Democrat all his life. He was educated at the University of Mississippi and is a lawyer of national reputation. In 1868 he married a daughter of the Confederate admiral, Raphael Semmes. He was made a member of the first Philippine commission and two years ago became vice governor.

Mrs. Russell Sage, who has written in protest of the growing tendency of American young women to marry for-

MRS. SAGE.

in self-supporting women, and has done much in New York to make their lives pleasanter. Mrs. Sage lk" the guardian of her husband’s health and dictates how he shall live. She has been married to Russell Sage for thirty-five years.

Arthur M. Beaupre, who has roused the ire of the Colombian government and

the anxiety of the Ui ment by his remarkable course «rt Bogota, was ap pointed minister to Colombia early in the present year. Minister Beaupre waa born and bred near Aurora. Snioe he waa 21 years old —be is now juat 50 —he has almost continuously held office. President McKinley in 1897 appointed

him first secretary of legation at Guatemala, and he was subsequently made consul general at Bogota.

Rev. W. B. Leach, the Methodist minister of Wicker Park, Chicago, who preached a sermon attacking women’s

REV W. B LEACH.

leagues and law and order movements.

Sparks from the Wires.

The body of George Evans came to the surface of Canada lake, Qloversville, N. Y. The body of Florence Brown has not yet been recovered. The two young people had been missing for some days, having gope for a boat ride. Articles of Incorporation have been granted to the Kiowa Copper Company of Oklahoma City, capitalized at sl,000,000, and the Southwest Exploration Company of Oklahoma City, capitalised at $1,000,000. The incorporators on Oklahoma man.

SULTAN OF JOHORE

ond road, as regards mileage, in the United States. It has nearly 18,500 miles of track. This result was due to the purchase of the Seaboard Air Line system by the St. Louis and San Francisco Railroad, which belongs to the Rock I&land system. In connection with the Seaboard and Terre

GEN. WRIGHT.

eign titles on the ground that it is humiliating to American pride, has devoted most of her life to philanthropic and charitable work and has spent more of the famous financier’s money with her right hand than she would care to have her left hand know about. She is especially interested

ARTHUR BEAUPRE.

clubs, has lived on the South Side for many years and has led in the movement to eloee the saloons in Hyde Park. He formerly lived in the Nineteenth Ward, and said that ward “was nearer heaven than any other part of Chicago.” He has been active in the Civic Federation, the temperance

THEY WORK HARD.

Is Avoldin* Work Tramps, for Instance, Expend Muck Basrsy, "Did you ever notice how bard some bam will work to keep from working?” laeld a man who keeps tab on things ,of a curious kind. “If you haven’t >you have missed something that will [entertain you for a while when you 'have nothing else to do, -Take the man who shirks his work, and as a rule you wiH find that the act of dodging what he should do will /vastly (Increase the amount of work which ,he la forced to do. The man who Shirks never has a smooth way of It. Things which be had hoped would redound" to bis good he finds to be (really to his disadvantage. Instead of (work which the shirker must perform jit Increases tbe work. Besides, the man Is robbed of that mental satisfaction which comes of duty well and faithfully done. You take the common beggar and the tramp aa examples. Mind you, I am speaking of the real beggar and tbe real tramp, the ‘professionals’ as they are called, who develop Into mendicants. I have often wondered If these fellows ever took the time to figure out how much less energy they could expend on the little things and little comforts they get if [they would but go about it In a different way. Of course, many of the beggars and tramps roaming over tbe [country belong to the hardened criminal class, and they are simply out to .loot In whatever way they can do It. But I was thinking more particularly of the man belonging to tbe honest Class and not of crooks. Shirking doesn’t pay. It la a bad business, and to use au old saying, ‘costs more than It comes to.’ Yes, Indeed. This thing of working just to keep from working la about tbe hardest work a man can do. I have known not a few Instances of men who would burn up $5 worth of muscular energy and time In an effort -to get 5 cents for *nothlng,’ as they .were pleased to think, and it never once occurred to them that Instead of (gaining 5 cents they had actually lost $ I.9s.”—New Orleans Times-Democrat.'

The Bible and the Empire State Express.

A Bible student has recently been figuring on how long it would have taken the people to make the Journey from Dan to Beetsheba if they could have had the benefit In the olden times of the Empire State Express. He figured that the train whuld have made this journey in IeBS (than three hours, although from a reading of the account in the Bible'one would think it was a long journey, and it was for those days with their limited means -of transportation. Ezekiel, the ChaJdean prophet, had in his mind’s eye something tike the Empire State Express when he uttered the words recorded In the first chapter of his prophecy. Look this up and see if you do not agree with the Idea.-SFrom the Troy Daily Times. The New York Gentral is every day adding to .the ram of human knowledge by its mf/vekuis passenger train service.

Tough on the Men.

He —What is your idea of heaven? She—l imagine it must be something like our summer resorts. He —Why do you think so? She—Well, the proportion of men to women will undoubtedly be pretty much the same —fay 100 women to each man.

Putting Him Wise.

“Darling,” said the young man who had Just put up $9.98 for an engagement ring, “you look sweet enough to ea!.” “Yes, and I do ent,” replied the practical maid. “I hope you didn't think I Uvsd on air alone.”

Catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, u they cannot reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh is a blood or constitutional disease, and In ordeaio cure It you must jkkeinternal remedies. Hall’s Catarrh Cure is UVfcn,lnternally, and acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces. Hall’s Catarrh Cure Is pot a quack medicine. It was prescribed by one of the best physicians In this country for Band Is a regular prescription. It Is comof the best tonics known, combined with ast blood purifiers, acting directly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect combination of the two Ingredients is what produces such wonderful xesults In curing Catarrh. Brad for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Ttlsdo, O. Bold by Druggists, price 75c. Hall’s Family Pills are the bent.

The Exception.

She —Do you believe it is true that all the world loves a lover? He —No; not since I had an interview with your father/ A “hand" of tobacco la commonly about 4 ounces. (ITS Psnnuently Cured. Ho Ota or nanraaanaaaanao NIS an* day’a uoo of Dr. Eliiw’a Unat Horvo Sosrs:

ANMALS4LE 10.000.000 ,5^1^ Greatest Worla^^ A MILLION GRANDMAS all over America point to OASOABETS Gandy Cathartic, aa the most perfect family medicine ewer discovered. Good, kindly, tender-heerted old eool—grandma tries to help others by tailing of the good thlngoaheAas learned through experience, and so the eels of OASGARHTB ie nearly A MILLION BOXES A MONTH. The wisdom of years of experience with her own health, and grandpa’s and her children's, and her -children's children’s has taught grandma that in GABGARBTS Oandy Cathartic has been discovered THE ONLY PERFECT FAMILY MBPIOINHforaII bowel troubles, children’s disea sew, rtiaoanea ofthe stomach end Mvsr.elnh headaches, biltouenaae and bad blood. , Beet for the Bowels. All druggists, 100, aSo, 60a Never sold in bulk. The genuine tablet stamped OOa Guaranteed to cure or your money beck. Sample end-booklet toss. Address Sterling Remedy Oa, Ghioego or New York, m

FALL KIDNEY CHILLS.

With the chilling air of fall comes an extra tax on Weak kidneys— It’s the time Doan’s Kidney Pills are needed—now recognized the world over ah the chief Sidney and Bladder remedy. Aching backs are eased. (Hip, back, and loin pains overcome. Bwelluig of the

Dcmrau, Ikd.—“ It woe Called rheumatism. I could get no relief from the doctors. I began to improve on taking Doan’s sample and got two bones at our druggists, and, although 88 years of age. I am almost a new man. I was troubled a good deal with my water—had to got up four and five times a night. That trouble Is over with and ones more I can rest the night through. My backache U all gone, and I thank you ever so much for the wonderful medicine, Doan’* Kidney Pills.’’ Jno. H. Hrosn, President, lUdgovllle, Indiana, State Bank.

Tbe Greek Executioner. In Greece the death penalty la said to be often pronounced, but the difficulty of obtaining executioners was for a long time Insuperable, says a letter from Athens In a London print. It was at last surmounted by giving to a murderer tbe choice between his own death or acceptance of the office of permanent executioner. The man lives alone In an old tower built by Venetians on an islet outside the port ‘of Naupila, where necessaries are taken to him every morning by the boatman, who la careful to exchange no word with him. Twice a year a steamship calls for him and his Instruments of death, and he leaves upon a tonr of executions.

confidence ot every one who j Dr. Caldwell's Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin, which is posi- 'N tively guaranteed to cure dyspepsia, Indigestion, constipation, malaria and all troubles arising from the stomach (excepting cancer), and If you will purchase a 50-cent or SI.OO bottle from your druggist it will be a complete revelation to you. Heads off biliousness, induces sound and refreshing sleep, cures nervousness, and is praised by women in all parts of the country. We will be glad to lend you n (ample bottle and a little book on stomach troubles if you will send us a postal. PEPSIN SYRUP COMPANY, Montloello, 111.

A Skin of Boauty is • Joy Forever. Dr. t. mix soiuacm oriental CREAM, OR MAGICAL HEktJTIVIER g,M| *3&S?TSBkin di.oaae*. udmn blomr - **ifl ah on boooty.and « | live m«n?I nMOmf /vn* 4 y-i.f mend 'itooraud'n I / J Hlv , Oiwam'aatholdaa* ktoahl of oil the Ron*.” For 0010 br oil Drauiata and "WnOT-GooS* BROMO> SELTZER CURES ALL Headaches 10 CENTS-IW»YWHIJUt

limbs and dropsy signs vanish. They correct urine with brick dost sediment, high colored, pain In passing, dribbling, frequency, bea wetting. Doan's Kidney Pills remove calculi and gravel Relieve heart palpitation, sleeplessness, headachy nervousness, dizziness.

KAMI P. O STATS Per (Tee trial box, man tU| eeitpea to Foelop-Hllbam Co., Buffalo, K.Y. Ifaboro •poo* li tnou Octant, writ* address ea separate slip, -

M MRS MIL IN A NOME THE SKN Of THE HSH NEVER TAILS £ mawjuml Remember this when you buy Wet Ijß Weather Clothing and look for the name TOWER on the buttons fpl This sign and this name have stood fcr the BEST during aixly-seven 7* years of increasing sales. If your dealer willnot supply you write fbr free catalogue of black or yellow waterproof oiled coats, slickers, suits, hats, and horse goods for all kinds of wet work. A. J. TOWER CO, THB BOSTON.NAM.as.a. «SICN TOWER CANADIAN CO. toaonto. can. Teawe.

FREE TO WOMEN! KVRjnn To prove the healing and' I|aULu cleansing power of Pax-; E&yQ|H tlne Toilet Antiseptic, Iff A ff we will mail a large trial t|H package with book of in-. U BAJA l i structions abiolntely I Dll free. This is not a tiny v H W sample, but a large package,! W V enough to convince anyone! ifff 1 of * ts value. Women all «■■■■■■■■ over the country are prals-i Ing Paxtine for what it has done in local treatment of female ills, curing all inflame nation and discharges, wonderful as a cleans* ing vaginal douche, for sore throat, nasal catarrh, as a mouth wash, and to remove tartan and whiten the teeth. Scad to-day; a postal! card will do. •old br InoWi or Mat postpaid by as, M. •eata, lam baa. SaUafaetlon gaaraatwA 1 R.PAXTON CO.. 110 Columbut Ave . Boatoa, Hat*.. 131 Best Cough Syrup. TaaU» Good. UN |"1 H In time. Sold by druggists. I*l AIM ESTABLISHED MORTGAGE! Bonn and Bimm Hocaa wants • jua at sasrgV and ability in auk Ooonty Hast. Elapant chano# for man of nbilitj and lntowrity. 7. N. rmantlW Oaahiar. H Fitaaarald Bnildins. Ihouiumui, lan,. C, N, P. No. 38-IOOa U/BEN WBTINO TO ABVEBUSERS PLEASE SAW ” TNMfttt afvfrtfamrß la tMa papar.

Baittm Bnuuoa. Kaxsoa pie of Doan’s Kidney Pill*. For five years I have hod much pain in m v back, which physicians said atom from my kidneys. Four boxes of Doan’s Kidney Pills hors on* tteely cured the trouble. I think I owe my life to these pills, and I want others ta„ know It.” Sima Davis, ' Baxter Springs, Kona Falmouth, Va.— "I suffered over twelve months with pain in the small Of my baek. Medicines and plasters gate only temporary relief. Doan’s Kidney Pills cured me.” F. 8. Bsown. Falmouth, Vo.