Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 September 1903 — The Comic Side Of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side Of The News

Well, the two-minute trotter is here at last.

If Turkey is to be carved John Bull would like at least a wing. Oyster Bay is so lively now that th* native bivalve* are losing a lot of sleep. You could hardly blame King Edward if he were to talk with a brogue hence>rth. Peru can certainly report progress. It has seated a new president with no shooting. Bulgarians threaten to do Prince Ferdinand a favor by taking hi* throne away from him. A witness in the Kentucky feud case ha* died of appendicitis, thus eternally disgracing his family. This year has seen the trotting, pacing and running records al! broken. It looks as though the horse were making a desperate effort to distract attention from the automobile. Naturally those operator* who cornerel the cotton market object to being called gamblers, but an old farmer like Secretary Wilson likes to call things by their right namte. Prof. wants secrecy because he is experimenting with a machine for the government to use in case of war. Is it designed to lure the enemy to take passage in the flying machine? Nbw that her trial is over Mme. Therese Humbert will exercise her little pnU to show that the jury did not know what it was talking about when ft saH aha would have to serve five yada.