Jasper County Democrat, Volume 6, Number 18, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 August 1903 — The Laziest Man. [ARTICLE]

The Laziest Man.

UjOALL grass®* on the bank waved I "IP gently; a blundering bumblebee 1 *>■ tumbled upon the broad face of • burdock leaf, too overladen with pollan to fly; Interlocked branches traced a lacework pattern on the ground, and the September sunlight shimmering upon the bank and water was like a benediction.

Blngold lay gt length beside the footpath, flat upon his back, one leg over the other, thus thrusting a very trim and well shod foot into the air, and with his hands clasped behind his head pillowed on a hammock. Ha watched a spider busily spinning a thread so fine that as It was carried further and further out over the water «n the bosom of the breeze Its eud was Anally lost to sight Such a busy little creature as that spider was, tool It positively made Rlngold feel a desire to be dolug something himself, to see the spinner at work. So he lit an •ther cigarette and puffed steadily. A 'man can always And something to do when he’s in the country on a vacation.

By and by the spider, evidently believing his aerial ship, or kite, or whatever he waa making, of sufficient strength, cut himself loose and went flying away at the end of his thread. TJp and up the spider soared, and away over the river; and having seen the ascension Blngold was able to follow tbe track of the cunning insect at the end of his floating thread for some yards.

"That’s a fine way to cross a river,” (be said to himself. “Wish 1 could do it las easily.’’ Simon Sholes, the storekeeper, came trotting along the path. “HI, Bobby 1 What are you doing there?" he asked, easting a rather suspicious glance at the recumbent figure. “Sawing wood, Air. Sholes,’’ responded the lazy one. Sholes chuckled rather doubtfully, and went on. Blngold knew he would go down to his store and report that Bob was just as lazy as ever. Three years In tbe city hadn't changed him a mite!

Dr. Newell hove in sight a moment l»t*r. Really, the river path seemed a favorite way to the village today! “That you Rlngold? Taking It easy?" “Oh, no, sir! I’m plowing for oats.” “I reckon you would plow for oats this time o’ year, Rlngold, It would be lust like you,” said the old physician fcyiy. as he went on, his coattails flapping over his 1< eked hands. “Mnkes these folks jealous to see a man resting," declared Rlngold to himself. “Humph! Working just about as you useter, hey?" was old Peleg Marnay’a sharp remark as he passed a minute later. And he scowled down at the man of ease. He remembered when Rlngold had stolen his golden russets. “Harder," was the reply. “I’m making hay while tbe sun shines. I’ll sell you a ton at a discount, Peleg,” said Rlngold. He knew the old man’s fallhig.

By and by there was another step on tha path. Rlugold had been waiting for It, but he did not raise his head. “I thought I would find you here,” Mid a voice scornfully. “You are, Rob«t, the very laziest man In the world!” “Think so?” "I know so!” The girl tapped the patent leather toe of her shoe with the tip of her parasoL “And you mean to •ay that they pay you $3,000 a year in New York. “That’s the figure." “What for?” “For thinking.” “And I suppose you have been thinking all this livelong afternoon that you have lain hero?” “No; I’ve been doing better.” “What, pray?” “Watching spiders!” exclaimed Rlng•10, laughing and getting lazily upon hla feet Then he walked along by the girl’s aide. But she kept her face turnad loftily from him, and that evening •be went to the church sociable with young Sholes, the storekeeper’s son. “I like a man who does things,” she told Rlngold when he complained. • * • * • • • The last week of bis month’s vacation coincided with Rlngold'a hopes. To aay the least the weather was uncertain. Most of the time It rained. When It did not rain It poured. The river rose enormously. The water had not been so high (these be the words •f the oldest Inhabitant) since the great storm In ’59. The meadows were allood. Where Rlngold had lain and dkeagied away the sunny afternoon the water was two feet deep. If he had mot made up hla mind to abandon a part of bis 111-gotten galnß the bumbleIw must have been drowned, and the spider had shown Ills good sense In •hanging his quarters. Thurday night the foot and carriage •ridge went The next morning the dam burst, and the onrush of the great dood which swept the valley carried (ha timbers of the railroad trestle with B; leaving only the twisted Ironwork •■aging to the pillars on either bank. AM the village station a long, vestibul•d train had been held just In season to escape destruction. The wire told Hum that retreat was cut off by the, Ims of the bridge over the ravine two Miles up the road. Perforce the pas•sagers were obliged to submit to s eeastderable stay at this one-hors# “If K looks as mean and small to Basts as It does to me, they won’t like % m thought Rlngold. He strolled dawn - to tha station, “for the privilege of sea-

Ing a well dressed woman and a silk tile once more,” be said. Everybody seemed so glad to bavo escaped the wreck of the bridge that they were not yet troubling over the delay. All but one man. He was squat, ruddy faced white haired, quick motioned. Ringold’s eyes opened wider. He knew him. And Wall- street knew him,Blngold had «ot quite lost run of financial affairs. A New York paper waa wafted Into town on occasion. “He was going home In a hurry—and I don’t blame him, considering the way O. and P. la dropping,” muttered the lazy man. “And I’d bet that he won’t gain anything for being held up here.” The ruddy faced man thought so, too, He went down to the edge of the river which had now become a lake. “Is there any way of crossing?” he asked. The natives stared at him. “I reckon not. A boat wouldn’t live a minute in that current. And It’s like to rain ag'in ’fore night.” “I’ve got to get across now; I can’t wait” said the ruddy faced mar. “Where’s the boat?" “There ain’t none nearer than the sea-shore —fifteen mile away. What we had was lost In the fust flood.” “But I’ve got to get over,” declared the man, insistently. Tbe bucolic citizens left him. They made up their minds that he wasn’t exactly “right,” Rlngold went over. “What’s It worth?” he asked calmly. “Put me across the river—l can get a special to meet me there, I find —and I’ll give you— He looked Rlngold over, and finished; “A hundred dollars.” “These aren’t my clothes,” Rlngold said softly. "You see, I got my own wet I am connected with Pag4 & Jessop. They call me their confidential clerk.” “You misunderstood me," said the ruddy faced man, quickly. “I said a thousand!” “And expense*?” “And expenses,” with a sigh. “All right You wire for your train. You’ll need it about 1 o'clock.”

He strolled away as calmly as ever, but there must have been something In his eye that impressed the Wall street man more than It did Ringold’s old neighbors and friends. At any rate be telegraphed for the special. Rlngold did a little wiring himself. Luckily there was a roundabout way of telegraphing to the other side of the river, and A 1 Cuslck lived there. Ho could depend upon A 1 to do just what he was told—no more, no less. Then Rlngold made some purchases at Sholes’s store. Young Sholes told the girl when she happened In a little later that he guessed Bob Rlngold must be getting Into bis second, childhood, buying children’s toys! “And pa and ma thought them left over balloons we had for the picnic was a dead loss,” said the storekeeper’s son. His grammar was one thing that made the girl wish Rlngold was not so lazy!

Of course, she could not keep away from the edge of the overflowed meadows. Half the population and most of the delayed passengers were there. At on<s side was Rlngold and two men busily at work. On tbo other shore a wagon had driven down to the edge of the water, and she heard somebody say that It was A 1 Cuslck’s team. By and by other people noticed Ringold’s actions.

They exclaimed In wonder and laughed not a little when a bunch of toy balloons, fastened to a strong silk thread, rose in the air and was wafted over the water. The wind blew directly across the stream, wheh was yellow and angry In its central channel. But the ballons floated the silken strand high above It. By and by the pressure bf the air causing the balloons to leak, they dropped down. But It was on the further bank, and A 1 Cuslck caught the thread.

In a moment Rlngold signaled him to pull away. A cord followed the silken thread over the river. Then a small, strong rope followed the cord. -Several men had joined Cuslck on the further shore. Rlngold attached a new cable to the rope, and under the lusty “heave-boss!” of the group on the other side the yellow manila splashed through the flood. With It went another cord, which, when the cable was fast on either shore, was used to pull a block and breeches buoy which Ringold had made from a sail There was a banner of smoke against the overcast sky on the other side of the river. “Your special’s just in, sir,” Rlngold said to the ruddy faced man. “It’s a quarter to 1. I guarantee you’ll get across without so much as wetting your bootsole.” The ruddy faced, man shook hands “You call at my office when you come to town,” he said. “I think you ought to be something better than confidential clerk to Page A Jessop—if you want to change." The girl heard him, and she squeezed Rlngold’s arm In delight “Oh, oh!” she whispered, “Did yon hear that Robert? Isn’t that splendid? Why, we can —” “That extra thousand will furnish a pretty decent flat —in Harlem,” finished the laziest man—Philadelphia Ledger.