Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 March 1903 — A LITTLE NONSENSE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Papa’s Wireless Message to a Stay Late Young Man. They were standing at the front dour, and he had just said good night for the seventeenth consecutive time when a gruff voice was wafted down from the head of the stairs. “Going home, young man ?” queried the party behind the aforesaid voice. “Y-yes, sir,” stammered, the lovelorn youth in the good night scene. “All right,” said the gruff voice. “I wish you would stop and tell the butcher to send us up some lamb chops for breakfast. Good morning.”—Chicago News. On Equal Terms.

“Why are you going to leave, Guste?” “Because they treat me so badly.” “That isn’t my experience. Why, they treat me as one of the family. The mistress calls me an old fool as often as she does her husband.”

Inapt. Mrs. Gage—l really think you ought to permit ine to have my say about matters that properly belong under my superintendence. In such things you ought to defer to me. Mr. Gage—l suppose you know what the poet says—“’Tis madness to defer.” Mrs. Gage—That settles it! Did you ever know a poet with common sense ?—Boston Transcript. Practical. “Why don’t you try to carve your name high on the tablets of fame?” asked the poetic enthusiast. “My friend,” answered Senator Sorghum a little severely, “there is no use in my dodging around with a hammer and chisel when 1 can do such effective work with a fountain pen and a checkbook.”—Washington Star. A Blessing In Disguise. “Oh, my! Johnny’s gone an’ fell in the well!” “Thank the Lord! lie’ll break the ice, an’ then we kin draw water !”—Atlanta Constitution. Naming the Baby. They talked of Medora, Aurora and Flora, Of Mabel and Marcia and Mildred and May; Debated the question of Helen, Honora, Clarissa, Camilla and Phyllis and Fay. They thought of Marcella, Estella and Bella. Considered Cecilia, Jeannette and Elline, Alicia, Ad*Ja, Annette, Arabella And Ethel and Eunice. Hortense and Irene. One liked another Lenora; Some argued for Edith and some for Elaine, lor Madeline, Adeline, Lily and Lora, And then, after all, they decided on Jane. —lllustrated Bits. For the Hands. Keep a bottle of glycerin anti rosewater, mixed, near the sink and whenever the hands have been wet rub a few drops of this over them before drying on the towel. It is wonderful how much this does to prevent chapping, which during frosty weather is a misery to most women doing general housework. Of course the same emollient should be used at night just before going to bed, hut this alone will not heal the roughened skin when the daily work includes frequent dishwashing and care of stoves. Oyster Catchup. Did you ever hear of oyster catchup ? It is extremely nice and “tasty” to eat with cold meat thinly sliced or with fowl Use fifty oysters and their liquor, half a pound of unchovies, hall' a pint of white wine, a small lemon, sliced. B 1 slowly for half an hour, then strain. Add quarter of an ounce of cloves, the same amount of mace and whole liepper and salt to taste. It will ;eep well in bottles and may be used occasionally as one desires during the winter. The Oyster Frier. A most useful article of household cookery is the oyster frier with the wire duplicate inside the regular sauccpun. This skeleton looking afTair can be ruised out of the pan and attached to the handle of it while the oysters, nicely fried, can drain off all the superfluous fat that they absorbed during the cooking.