Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 January 1903 — The Comic side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic side of The News

What they want in the Northwest Is a steam-heated blizzard. The** are the days when the oldest Inhabitant has his inning. In Chicago grain corners hnve been declared illegal. How about coal corner*? Independent operators In New York ar* independent of the law nnd everything els*. If th* coal baron* have violated no statute* a few should be enacted that would cover their case. In th* part of Morocco which the pretender rule* he 1* cutting down taxes. That I* a form of pretending that th* inhabitants doubtless prefer to the real stuff. The pretender of Morocco, who was supposed to be all In, has decided that there are a few more pretends in him and hns taken the warpath with renewed enthusiasm. That tale about the Emperor of Germany wanting tho Panama canal wai probably started by members of th* French canal company to punch up th* United States. . ’ Bachelor "Bill” Bailey is now" Governor of Kansas and the girl* all over tho land are certain that they would not marry the hateful old thing even if h* were to aak them.