Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 36, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 December 1902 — A LITTLE [?] [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE [?]

Ilerry Shafts of Wit From the Pen of a Windy City Jester. Hojax—Your friend Scribbles always laughs at his own jokes after they appear in print. Tomdix—Yes; but then, you know, they are not original with him. Little Willie—Pa, what does this Eaper mean by saying the man slept ke a top? Pa—lt’s probably a misprint, my son, and should read, “The man alept like a cop.” Mrs. Fortyodd—A man is as old as he feels, but a woman is as old as she looks. Mr. Oldbeau Really, madam, that doesn’t apply to your case, I’m sure. Maude—Can you look me in the face and say that is true ? Clara—l r m afraid not, dear. Your face is too good to be true. Tom—l have no use for those girls who try to ape men. Jack—Well, they are preferable to those who make monkeys of men. Jimaon—What do you think of the Philippine question ? Cumsoe—My dear boy, I’m completely unthunk on the subject. Wife—You looked like a fool when you were on your knees pro*

posing' to me. Husband—Yes, and that’s jus, exactly what I was.—Chicago News A Mild Case.

He—l am madly in love with you She—Sir, I cannot marry a luna tic.

An Absence of Vanity. “I suppose you have a sincer love for the applause of your fellot men ?” “No, 6ir,” answered Senato Sorghum; “I do not allow mysel to overestimate the passing plaudit of the fickle throng. If they’ll lis ten to quiet persuasion and vote m way, they’re welcome to £0 ahea and applaud anybody who is willin to give ’em free entertainment.”Washington Star. Bauey. Mrs. V. Hement—No; I will giv you absolutely nothing. Scrappy Shraggs Would yo mind loanin’ me a hit of chalk? Mrs. V. Hement—What do yo want of chalk ? Scrappy Shraggs I want t« mark ue “no good” sign on you fence, madim.—Leslie’s Weekly. Waiting For a Market. “So you won’t sell that furn ture ?” said the dealer. “No,” answered the householder “I suppose you are going to ho it in the nope that it will commai a fabulous value among antiquai ans.” “No, I don’t intend to wait th long. If the price of coal goes i at the present rate, my furnitu will command fabulous prices fuel.”