Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1902 — CONDENSED STORIES. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

CONDENSED STORIES.

Driving a Bargain With a Washington Street Car Conductor. “'Every time I see a large assemblage of people in a large city, such' as the Grand Army encampment at Washington,” said an old Washingtonian the other day, “it recalls to my mind a little incident which took place in front of the Post building some years ago. It was 7 during the Christian Endeavor convention, and the city, of course, was crowded. There was a large contingent of folks from the country, the real plain people, who ‘form the bulwark of the nation.’ “All wanted to see the sights, quite naturally, and some of them were trying to get through on a very small margin financially and besides probably had been warned' to look out for the man with the golden brick. A party of six, both’ men and women, came out of the Post building one afternoon, and a tall, rawboned old man with a patriarchal beard rushed out across the plaza and hailed a passing Fourteenth street car. “ ‘Say, mister,’ he cried, brandishing his weather beaten umbrella at the driver, ‘what ’ll you take us up to Mount Pleasant for?’ “ ‘How many are there of you P t “ ‘Six,’ came the answer. “ ‘Well, I’ll take you all up for 5 cents apiece,’ said the driver, smiling benevolently at the bucolic group. “ ‘l’ll go you,’ responded the countryman, and with tne triumphant air of a woman who has just made a bargain counter look like three lead dimes he shouted back to his party: Tie’ll take us up for 5 cents apiece. Come on.’ And they all scrambled in among the amused passengers. “It’s dollars to doughnuts that those folks who were running up against the wiles of city life never learned that the bargain they struck cost them 5 cents more than six tickets would have filched out of their exchequer.” Washington Post. Had Confidence In the Doctor. At the annual meeting of the Association of Military Surgeons of the United States Major John Van

H. Hoff in the course of his speech accepting the presidency’ of the association told the following story: “A lady was passing through the wards of an overcrowded military hospital when she suddenly encountered two men sawing and hammering on some boards. She looked at them, in some surprise and wonderingly asked, ‘What are you doing there, my men? They looked tip at her, and one of them said: ‘What are we doing? Why, we are making a coffin; that’s what wo are doing.’ *A coflin? she asked. ‘For whom are you making a coffin ?’ ‘For that fellow over there in that bed. Don’t you see him?’ The lady looked in the direction indicated and saw a man apparently in good condition and watching the operation with great interest. ‘Why, that man is not dead, and, indeed, he does not look as if he were going to die. Can’t you postpone this work? ‘No,’ the men said, ‘we can’t postpone it. The dpctor told us to make the coflin, and he knows what he gave him.’ ” j

"THE DOCTOB TOED US TO MAKE THE COPPIN."