Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 October 1902 — Page 4

CONDENSED STORIES.

What Senator Platt Has 0 Learned About Newspaper Making. Senator Platt of Connecticut aavs that he has learned one great truth about the newspaper business after many years of reading them. 'A number of newspaper men, says the Washington Post, went in to see him after a meeting of the committee on Cuba to learn what had been accomplished toward the Teller investigation. Senator Platt made a yery brief statement regarding the proposal to call President Ilavemeyer and others of the sugar trust, and it was suggested to him that a little more detail would be acceptable, as a column story on the subject would be desired by the newspapers. Hr. Platt 6miled quizzically at Hie newspaper men a moment and then told of his great trutlu “The newspapers are not interested in anything that is completed. lYou want a column about a subject that has not yet developed, but when I looked in the newspapers this morning to see what they said about the agreement on the Cninose exclusion bill I could find almost hothing.” The newspaper men agreed with him.

Joked a Future Senator. Ex-Senator Edward 0. Wolcott established a law and real estate office with his brother in Georgetown, Colo., at the outset of his career, but as the law department of the concern was unprofitable he do-

"SAY, YOUNG FELLER, WHICH OF YOU ALL IS ED?"

cidetl to move on to a neighboring camp, where silver had been struck, lie packed his belongings on a donkey and at the last moment decided to take w ith him the firm’s old sign, “Ed Wolcott <& Bro./’ which had just Wn replaced by a new one. When he arrived at his destination, the miners gathered around and looked him over, staring hard at the sign strapped on the donkey. “Say, young teller,” drawled one of them, “which of you all is Ed ?’* Stockton’s Famous Riddle. Frank It. Stockton’s famous story, ‘The Lady or the Tiger?” set everybody guessing. It was a topic of conversation when Mr. Stockton met Kudvard Kipling at a reception and informed the latter that he contemplated going to India. “I’m glad to hear it!” exclaimed Kipling enthusiastically. “I know just what we'll do with you over Jthere when we get you away from your friends and family. We’ll lure you out into the jungle and have you seized and bound by our trusty wallahs. We’ll have you turiu'd on your hick and got one of our biggest elephants to stand, over you with his fore foot poised above your head. Then I’ll say in my most insinuating way, ‘Come now, Stockton, which was it—the lady or the tiger ?’ ” It was told that on enterprising magazine manager offered him $lO,000 if lie would reveal the true end of the famous tale, but Stockton was true to his story and declined tho offer.

HU Eminence “Martin Kelly.” Cardinal Marthadli learned English hi Dublin, Ireland, and speaks it with tlie soft, mellow brogue of the educated Irishman from that part of the Emerald Isle. The cardinal tells a good story about his accent. Shortly after his arrival in this country an old woman called at the delegation upon some matter of minor importance and was granted an audience with the affable apostolic delegate. Then she startled tho people of Washington by assuring them that tho new delegate waa on Irishman. “indeed, them he is Irish,” Bhe said, “because I heard him talk. And, euro, isn’t his name Martin Kelly?” It is quite a joko now among ct>clesiaeties to allude to his eminence as Martin Kelly.—Washington Cor. New York .World.

FOR THE LITTLE ONES.

How Henry Ward Beecher Learned «n Important Lesson of Life. Friends of Henry Ward Beecher repeat a story which he used to tell, about his teacher, who taught him to depend upon himself. “I was sent to the blackboard and went, uncertain, full of whimpering. “ ‘That lesson must be learned/ said my teacher in a very quiet tone, but with terrible intensity. All explanations and excuses he trod under foot with utter scomfulness. ‘I don’t want any reason why you haven’t it/ he would say. “ ‘I did study it two hours.’ “ ‘That is nothing to me. I want the lesson. You may not study it at all or you may study it ten hours. Just suit yourself. I want the leeson.’ “It was rough for u green boy, but it seasoned me. In less than a month I had the most intense sense of intellectual independence and courage to defend my recitations. “One day his cold voice fell upon rao in the midst of a demonstration, ‘No.’ I hesitated and then went hack to the beginning, and on reaching the same point again ‘No!’ uttered in a tone of conviction barred my progress. “ ‘The next 1’ And I sat down in red confusion. “He, too, was stopped with ‘No!’ but went right on, finished and as he sat down was rewarded with ‘Very well.’ “ ‘Why/ whimpered I, 1 recited it just as he did, and you said “No!”’ “ ‘Why didn't you say “Yes” and stick to it? It is not enough to know your lesson; you must know that you know it You have learned nothing till you are sure. If all tho world says “No!” your business is to say “Yes!” and prove it.’ ”

Good Night. Little boy sweethcsirt, with eyes that shine Blue as the skies on a summer morn. JJps that are wreathed In a smile divine. Velvety cheek thut Is pressed to mine. Life has seemed fairer since you were bom; Fold up your petals, my rosebud white; Good night, my baby, good night. Good night. Little boy sweetheart, I love you so! How deep that love you will never know; Night after night, when my work la through. Worn out and weary, I come to you. Bend o'er your couch till upon my ear Falls a faint music I yearn to heor, Made by your breathing so soft and light. Good night, my baby, good night. Good night. Then by your side as I nightly kneel To the All Father 1 make appeal. That he will guide you and guard and bless. Touch you with love and unselfishness. Mold you and lead you life's path along. That you grow manly and true and strong. That he may grant you a future bright. Good night, my baby, good night. Good night. —Denver News.

Jenny and Her Goat. Little Jenny is five years old. She has a goat five months old. It follows Jennv like a playful little dog. It nibbles bread and green lettuce out of her hand. Sometimes in play it butts its little head against Jenny, and then Jenny pretends to tumble down. But it Ls all fun. The goat would not hurt her little mistress. “Kiddy, Kiddy,” say’s Jenny. “Ma-al” says the little goat. Then Kiddy pretends to be cross and to butt Jenny, and Jenny pretends to tumble down and to t>e very angry. So then there is a great fuss. But it is all only play. To Put an Egg In a Bottle. Take u hard tailed egg and a common water Ixrttle. Snell the egg. Light a piece of paper and threw it burning into tho water bnttla What

EGG ENTERING BOTTLE.

will happen ? The air in the bottle expands from the effect of the heat and escapes jxirtially, leaving after r short while only a very little thin end hot air in the bottle. Now place the egg on tho mouth of the bottle like a cork, without pressing it in. The air in the bottle will as soon as the paper is burned and the heat decreases cool off and beoome dense, while the egg, following the atmospheric pressure, will slip into the neck of the bottle and finally fall to the bottom with a loud report.

CONDENSED STORIES.

John W. Griggs' Story of tho Climbing Up of Hooley. Among his other accomplishments —fishing, shooting, riding, chess and golf—John W. Griggs, former attorney general of the United States, is a story teller of an unusual and decidedly pleasant sort. No matter what the situation, he always has a little yarn quite to the point, and he relates it in a way that is worth fully as much as the story itself, especially if it calls for a brogue. One of his latest runs something like this: “When Terence Hooley reached America, he had 27 cents, jine muscles and a big heart full of hope. He started work in a trench in Hie streets and ended up as alderman. He says it’s easy. “ ‘ Tis the (idlin’ of ye thot surproised me most/ he told me. ‘Whin Oi furst took up the pick, nt was “Terry, mon/’ or just “Hi, ye.” Whin Oi got to Bossin’ the job, ut was niver worse thin “Tirence.” Whin Oi went into business an’ starthed me saloon, ut was always “Hooley,” an' whin Oi was controllin' a vote or two the b’ys niver failed of the “Mister.” Wanee Oi was dieted, ut was no less thin the “Hon’rable Tirence Hooley”-thot was handed me. “ ‘But the best uv all was yit to cum/ he continued, laughing. ‘Oi wint to a bit uv a chapel the viry mamin’ thot the b’ys had been afther fillin' up me silly head with idees of Albany. ’Tis foolish, Oi thought, but no wan guesses, Oi thought, an’ Oi wint in an’ sot dune. Whot do vez think, now? Thot minute the little lads up in the chancle got on their feet, an’ whot did they start singin' but “Hooley, Hooley, Hooley, Lard God Almighty!” Oi put tin dollars in the plate.’*”

Witty Lord North. Lord North, the British premie* of the eighteenth century who caused the American colonies to rebel, was a witty person. “I am obliged to you for introducing me to some old acquaintances,” he said to his physician after an illness which had reduced his corpulence. “Who are they, my lord?” asked the doctor, and the prime minister replied, “lily ribs, which I have not felt for many years until now.” Lord North had no love for music. A friend who begged him to subscribe for a season of concerts urged as a reason the fact that Lord North’s brother did so. “Yes,” said North, “and if I were as deaf as my brother I would subscribe too.” George 111. once asked the premier the character of a well known officeseeker. “He is, your majesty,” said North, “secretary of state for Ireland, a man on whom, if your majesty were pleased to bestow the United Kingdom, he would ask for the Isle of Man ns a potato garden.”

Proving the Rule. The following tale is told of Captain Lindsay, a British officer who was killed at Brakenloagte. The story illustrates ut once the courage and ignorance of the men who went to South Africa to fight the Boers. It was at Magersfontein that the young officer was walking up and down encouraging the men. He had just said laughingly: “You mustn’t mind these fellows. You know they never hit any one,” when he was himself hit by a bullet and seriously wounded. As the bearers came up to take him off, he was able to turn round to his men and sav, with a smile, “Well, that’s the exception that proves the rule.”—Chicago News.

A “Common Platform." The . happiness of nations may fcang upon tne correct translation of a statesman’s speech, and accuracy of language has become of the highest importance. An English commissioner, (Sir Charles Warren, recently witnessed five dangers which may result from the mistranslation of a speech. Sir Charles had been called upon to lay tho foundation stone of a new Wesleyan church iu Mafeking. Ho said what countless other gentlemen have said on similar occasions—how phased he was to see so many people of different opinions mooting on a common platform. The official interpreter of tlic oecasion struggled bravely to get the idea before his Kaffir auditors. Then ho informed them that Pir Charles Warren complained of the “common platform,” and declared that it ought to have had green or red baize for a covering.

A Prlza Winner. She (proudly)—Oh, Henry, I got the prize at our women’s club] lie—Good! She—Yes. I blackballed more members during the past year than any other member. Ohio State Journal.

Connoisseur., Estello Ah, his proposal was just like a dream! Agnes—Well, you ought to know, dear. You’ve been dreaming of that proposal for years.—Brooklyn Life.

ATTENTION X FARMERS! e^LONG’S-^ SECOND ANNUAL^^ EXHIBITION, WILL TAKE PLACE AT LONGS’S DRUG STORE. The contest is as follows: Three prizes will be given; ist, 2nd and 3rd, for the three best samples of corn brought to my store any time up to Nov, ist, 1902; and on Nov. 10, 1902, competent judges will pass upon the quality of the corn and the prizes will be awarded according to their judgment. We invite every Farmer in the vicinity of Rensselaer to enter this contest.

The Prizes to be given are as follows For the Best Four Ears of Corn we will give a Fine Gold Watch. For the Second Best Four Ears of corn we will give Five Gallons of Our Best Ready Mixed Barn Paint, For the Third Best Four Ears . of Corn we will give a 251 b Pail of Long's Condition Powder.

J. H. STODDARTS DEBUT.

I was five years old and was Liken on to represent the child of Martin Haywooa in Douglas Jerrold’s drama of “The Rent Day.” In tho last scene, where Crumbs, played by my father, seizes Martin’s goods and chattels and is about to turn him out of doors, I became fearfully excited, and when Martin, my stage father, began berating Crumbs, the real author of my being, I could stand it no longer. I ran from Martin and clung wildly to old Crumbs. I had been announced as “Master Stoddart, five years old, his first appearance on any stage,” so that my identity and my relationship to Crumbs were known to the public. The audience yelled with delight, and the conclusion of the act was, of course, completely upset My debut, therefore, proved highly injurious to my prospects, for some time afterward when other children were required Alexander would say to my father, “Stxldart, don’t bring ‘The Rent Day’ bov.”— J H. Stoddart in Century Magazine.

A Russian Juggle of Words.

You do not change a man’s state by calling him another name. The liberation of the serfs was merely a juggling of words. The Russian peasant is not and never has been free. England paid its colonists millions ami set their negro slaves free. Russia liberated the serfs by ordering them to pay to the state an amount equal to the capitalization of the dues their landlords extorted, plus the cost of collection. The contention of tho peasants was that they were unable to pay tho sums the landlords demanded, as being beyond the yield of the land occupied. The annual levies are more than tho dues used to Iml The tenants got into arrears. The fortynine yearly payments which were to bring about the “redemption of tho land” will not balance the outlay, and to all intents and purposes the payments are imperial taxes and permanent. —Outlook.

Our Great Desert. The population of the Great American desert, us shown by the late census, is alxnit IAOOJXH), or one and a half persona to the square mile. This was made possible by the building of railways across it. There are now I>oo miles of railway In the region, including the part of the desert which lies in Mexico. Tlie grout desert must, however, remain almost entirely unproductive, for all the water that fulls upon it and the mountains adjacent would, if gathered, be sufficient to sustain vegetation on but 5 ]>cr cent of its surface. Tho rainfall on twentyfive acres is but enough to irrigate ona.

Epigrama of David Starr Jordan.

* You can’t fasten a five thousand dollar education up<wi a fifty''cent boy. The football field is safer for young men than tho ballroom. If an educated man is unfitted to take a practical hold on life, he is not worth educating or the education is a misfit The remedy for oppression is to have strong men who cannot be op-

A, F, LONG, Druggist.

press eti, The problem of life is not to make life easier, but to make men stronger.—F. B. Millard in World’s Work.

Sarah's Ways.

A recent writer says of Sarah Bernhardt: “It takes years off your age to see Sarah. The last time I saw her she was about twenty, and now she is only sixteen. One thing I learned from her own lips, ana that is that the cranks who make out that she owes her perpetual youth to very' limited sleep are entirely in the wrong. The theater over, she delights in two or three glasses of beer, and then for a solid nine hours of sleep, and pity help the servant who disturbs her.”

Irish Emigration.

In Ireland for years emigration has been, us it were, a fever. From the time they arrive at the age of consciousness boys and girls in that country are turning their hearts and their eyes to tho lands beyond the seas, whither so many of their kith and kin have flown before them. “He’s going to America,” a phrase that should have the saddest of all mesinings to them, is for the young people of Ireland only the expression of a fondly cherished hope.—Donahoe’s Magazine.

And Hanna Refused

The enterprising manager of a lecture bureau recently offered Senator Hanna SIO,OOO for a series of eighteen lectures in the south and middle west. He was Sorely disappointed when the Ohio boss refund k> consider his offer. “Whv, n au?d the manager plaintively, Hfs as much money as he gets for eervtn|| two years in tho senate, and ha could easily make the circtuU in a month,” Took In the Sign. 'A characteristic story i 9 told of Abe Gruber, the well known New York lawyer. When ho was a boy looking for something to do, he saw the sign “Boy Wanted” hanging

“YOU WON'T NEED IT ANY MORE." outside of a store in New York. He picked up the sign and entered the store. The proprietor met him. "What did you bring that sign in here for?” asked the storekeeper. "You won’t need it any more,” said Gruber cheerfully. “I am going to take the job.”

To enter this contest, bring us FOUR EARS of the Best Corn you have got. The Conditions of the Contest are as follows: Ist. That no person other than actually engaged in farming can enter thfs contest, 2nd, All samples of Corn must be tied with the Husks, and have a tag with your name on same. 3rd, That all samples must be left here not later than November Ist, 1902.

CiTY, TOWNSHIP AND COUNTY DIRECTORY. CITY OFFICERS. Mayor. J. H.S. Ellis Marshal Mel Abbott Llerk Charles Morlati Treasurer James H. Chapman Attorney Geo. A. Williams Civil Engineer J.C. Thraw ls Fire Chief C. B. Steward COUNCILMKN. Ist ward Henry Wood. Fred Phillips 2d ward W.S. Parks. B. F. Ferg'uson 3d ward .J. C. MoColly, Peter Wasson COUNTY OFFICERS. Clerk ..John F, Major Sheriff Abram G. Hardy Auditor W. C. Babcock Treasurer R. A. Parkison. Recorder Robert B. Porter Surveyor Myrt B. Price Coroner Jennings Wright Supt. Public Schools Louis H. Hamilton Assessor John R. Phillips COMMISSIONERS. Ist District Abraham Halleck 2nd District Frederick Waymire 3rd District Charles T. Denham Commissioners’ court—First Monday of each month. COUNTY BOARD OF EDUCATION. TRUSTEES. TOWNSHIPS. Joseph Stewart Hanging Grove John Ryan Gillum Lewis Shrier Walker Eiias Arnold Barkley Charles M. Blue Marion John Bill Jordan Geo. M. Wilcox Newton S. L. Luce Keener Thomas F. Maloney Kankakee Stephen D. Clark Wheattteld Albert J. Bellows Carpenter William T. Smith Slilroy Ramey D. Comer Union Louis H. Hamilton. Co. Supt Rensseleer G. K. Hollingsworth Rensselaer George Besse Remington Geo. O. Stembel Wheattield

JUDICIAL. Circuit Judge Simon P. Thompson Prosecuting attorney John I). Sink Terms of Court.—Second Monday in February, April, September aud November. TOWNSHIP IRUSTEES’ CARDS. Mllroy Township. Wm. T. Smith, trustee of Milroy township, gives notice that he will be at his residence in said township on the First and Third Saturdays of each month for the purpose of transacting township business; and business relating to making contracts or paying claims will be done on such designated day. Wm. T. Smith. Trustee. Jordan Township. John Bill, trustee of Jordan township, gives notice that he will be at his residence in said township on the Second and Pourth Saturdays of each month for the purpose of transacting township business; and business relating to making contracts or paying claims will be done on such designated day. John Bill, Trustee. Reduced to FIFTY CENTS A YEAR New Idea Formerly I Woman’s iSL Magazine • THIS Is the cheapest and best Fashion Magazine now before the American public. Itshows New Ideas In Fashions, In Millinery, In Embroidery, In Cooklog. in Woman's Work and In Reading; beantlfully Illustrated in colors and in black and white. Above all, it shows the very fashionable New Idea Styles, made from New Idea Patterns, which cost only lOc. each. Send Five Cents To-day for a stngte copy of tbs Nirw 1 DBA Woman's MAOA7JNJL and too what groat valoo tor tho money It can gtaro you. t! S S THE NEW IDEA PUBLISHING CO. SAB Broadway, Now York, *. X.

American’s Famous Beauties

Look with horror on Skin Eruptions, Blotches, Sorea, Pimples. They don't have them, nor will any one. who uses Bucklen's Arnica Salve. It glorifies the face. Eczema or Salt Rhenm vanlah beform It. It cures sore Ups, ohapped hands, chilblains. Infallible for Piles. 25c at A. K. Long’s drug store.