Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 July 1902 — WOES OF AUTO., LOVEMAKING. [ARTICLE]

WOES OF AUTO., LOVEMAKING.

Ob she was the belle of her toney set, a winsome and ravishing young brunette, with a pair of eyes that could read your thoughts and tie your affections all into knots. There wasn’t a fellow on a Big Bug-st. but had laid his heart at her shapely feet, and she kept them guessing, those hearts a-thump. But one there was, he a scheming chap, and he set for his game an enticing trap in the shape of an auto., a rig sans horse that skimmed o’er the ground by electric force, and his rivals were wallowing in dismay when they saw the couple one balmy day spin forth like a streak for a country ride, on herfacesa picture of new-born pride an-d his rivals muttered in worst of moods: "Our name is Dennis! He’s got the goods!” And on o'er the country roads they went In high-grade rapture spinning Both in a dream of sw'eet content Spasmodically grinning. They talked of this and thev talked of that, she through her bonnet, he through his hat, he whispered lies of the genus white she swallowing them in their new delight. Upon the lever her hand he placed to guide the auto., and rourd her waist his arm like a noiseless serpent crawled and closer to him tier form he hauled. He breathed in her ears the usual words that lovers toss to she dickey birds, and she responded in tones so sweet each sugared sentence seemed good to eat. He'd won the prize, and his soul was tilled with joy till the foam o’er the edges spilled, and she was happy to think she'd caught a handsome fellow who owned an aut.; and the jaybirds chattered and rustic crows bawled hoarse hooraws to their fresh-sealed vows. And on thev sped of their sense bereft, So tightly d d Cupid bind' em. That ere they knew it the town was left Some seventeen miles behind them. Then the clouds came up and the rain came down and sprinkled its tears on her new spring gown, then changed from a drizzle to falling flood, and the road was a channel of slush and mud, and the auto, stopped in rebellious mood—like a balky mule in the roadway stood. And there they sat in that worst of storms with no umbrella to shield their forms, and they got as soaked on their auto, perch as a new convert in the baptist church, and their love was chilled by the rainy slush till it grew impassive as cold fried mush. Twas fully two miles to a railway town, and with sorrowing features he helped her down atid off they trudged through the muddy lane in the pitiless pour of the blawsted ram. her eyes all chafed with the tears she shed, her lips calcined with the things he said, and they learned at the station with souls agast that the last dumrned tfrain for the day had passed.

And her rivals chattered with merry lip, And approached her with new ei deavor, For the language used on that soggy trip Queered him with her forever. —Denver Post.