Jasper County Democrat, Volume 5, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 May 1902 — AN ELEVATED THEME. [ARTICLE]

AN ELEVATED THEME.

What la driving all the people to a diet of baled hay? The Beef Trust. What la dodging past the little star* up in the Milky Way? The Beef Trust; What has made the brlndle cow so frisky that she wants to fly? What has made the pennyroyal bull go sailing through the sky? What has sent the calves and yearlings up so scandalously high? fc The Beef Trust. What has made the ateer so “breachy” that he wants to jump the game? The Beef Trust. What has made the meat so mighty that you can't keep down the same? The Beef Trust. What has changed the gentle heifer to a high and mighty star, Whom we poor and luckless mortals can but worship from afar? What has put between our hunger and her luscious Hanks a bar? The Beef Trust. What has emptied the full dinnerpall, Mark Hanna’s joy and pride? The Beef Trust. What’s reduced us all to "garden sass,*' with prunes upon the side? The Beef Trust. What, if undisturbed, would leave our Teddy in an awful box ? What must, therefore, stand a feint or two from one Philander Knox? What, in spite of all the threats, continues piling up the rocks? The Beef Trust. What is making our anatomies—and pocketbooks—feel lank? The Beef Trust. What is taking all the little wads we'd salted in the banks? The Beef Trust. What, if it does not return to terra flrma pretty soon, And let up on this disgraceful gallivanting ’round the moon, It will Hatten out some morning like a bustedup balloon? • The Beef Trust. • —Denver News