Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 January 1902 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

It h a safe guesa that Captain Clark Will not delay the coronation by arriving late. Once more the British have captured the spot where Gen. Botha was a few hours before. Young Mr. Phillips has succeeded in demonstrating that rye is dangerous even when not in liquid form. That Cuban who claims that he blew up the Maine probably i*i competent to blow up an empty balloon. Whitelaw Held will do to represent tie at the King’s coronation. When a Czar la to be crowned we shall have to aead Tom Reed. And now Britain is snid to be forming a steel trust that will make the American combination look like an old-style strap nail. Russell Sage does not remember the woman who .says he owes her $75,000. If the account wore the other way his memory probably would be better. A New Haven youth has died from Injuries received in a football game four years ago. Thia is a much longer range than the popular game was supposed to have. President Schwab denies that he played for high stakes st Monte Carlo; but ho does not say that he didn’t play at all. Kentuckians may only have wanted to let the world know that they could distinguish between Uncle Tom and grand opera. Dabbling In rye is what caused ths second downfall of Speculator Phillips, but as it was not old rye there is hope for him. King Edward, it is said, sees the end if the war, which must be accounted as ■vldenee of very good eyesight for one of Ms age.