Jasper County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 December 1901 — A LITTLE NONSENSE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Dead Johnny’s Sister After Alt Hie Christmas Presents. Missionaries to faroff lands, and especially those who have labored among people whose principal article of diet is rice, are apt to refer to their lukewarm converts as “rice Christians,” because the converts so termed care much more for t!ie material than the spiritual food that the missionaries dispense. Something of the same spirit animates Christians, young and old, in this corner of the world, particularly at time, and among the younFger element when Christmas trees r and gifts are in order. The story told recently by a Sunday school teacher is an illustration. A couple of weeks before Christmas one of the small boys in this teacher’s class contracted pneumonia and died. He wma much beloved, and his death was felt by his classmates and the workers in the school. His name was on the list for a handsome gift at Christmas, and the superintendent of the school decided that it would be a graceful thing, and the boy’s family would doubtless appreciate the act, if the gift set apart for the boy were sent to his home, to be given to a younger brother or disposed of as his parents thought fit. When the gift distribution was in progress, a sister of the little fellow, also an attendant at the school, was asked to take his gift home. She received it in silence and stood around with an expectant air. At last the teacher remarked: “What is it you are waiting for, Lucy? You have received your gifts and Johnny’s also.” “Yes’m, I know; but doesn’t Johnny get a box of candy too?” Johnny’s sister got the candy. Brooklyn Eagle. Too Much Faith. “So the glasses don’t help your eyes at all?” “Not a bit And the fellow that sold ’em to me told me they surely would.” “And you believed him?” “Of course I believed him. What do you think I’d better do about the matter?” “Oh, there ain’t anything to do about the glasses you’ve got, but before you buy any more you’d better take the faith cure.”—Chicago Post. The Way to a Woman’s Heart.

First Tramp—Why, ’ow did she come to give you so much as a shillin’? Second Tramp—She arst me ’ow old I wuz, and I told her I wuz old enough to be her grandfarver. Pure Sympathy. “That Mr. Berrien you introduced me to is a very sympathetic man.” “Think so?” “Yes, indeed. I was telling him about a neighbor of mine who is dangerously ill, and he said he’d call right away and leave his card.” “Yes, Mr. Berrien is an undertaker, you know.”—Philadelphia North American. Alluring. ! “Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. Torkins, “I wish you would let me go where the bookmakers are.” "Into the betting ring ?” “Yes. I saw it from a distance. The way those people are hustling and jamming one another makes me think that there must be some splendid bargains there.” —Washington Star. Her New Recipe. Mrs. Brownley-Bopgs—Mary, the salad was particularly delicious tonight. What did you use in it? Mary—l used them new kind o’ yaller cabbages that Mr. John sent home, mum. Mrs. 8.-B. (faintly) Heavens, those were chrysanthemums!—Chicago News. Really Very Simple. “Teacher says that ‘boom’ can’t be compared,” said the little one. “Can it ?” asked her mother. “Why, of course,” was the reply. “Positive,boom; comparative, boomer; superlative, boomerang.” “Correct,” said her father promptly.—Chicago Post. The Naked Truth. It was an extremely formal wedding. “I didn’t see you there,” said rto Love later. “No,” said Love; “I wasn’t dress-’ ed for it.”—New York Sun.